Alrighty!
Even though I'm completely devoid of creative energy (jetlag has made me pale) I need to post to say a few things about July . . . this July, which has been like no other in my life.
My inspiration today is seeing posts from both grandduchess and CatzMadam. A memory I'll always treasure is the photo in my mind, as I watched these two Adamtopians leave the rooftop bar at Fantasy Springs, around midnite after Saturday's show, arms around one another in friendship.
This is what really happens. Love. Acceptance, understanding. We begin, worlds apart, literally and figuratively. Years and miles and oceans of thought separate us; and then something occurs, and our lives are changed.
Adam will never know how he's mobilized this army.
From my basic training I've emerged brave, curious, joyful. I've become an explorer, just when I thought there was nothing more to be found.
In London - each performance - Adam enthralled me with a presence defying all I'd ever seen or heard. Adam sees his stage and his audience and knows exactly what nourishes us. The infinity of give and take. He took the stage, each night, knowing what the Queen audience yearned for; knowing what he could not serve. Instead, he poured forth the raw glory of himself. They devoured him!
I cannot find worry or angst after experiencing Adam and Queen. Adam is so beyond top 40 radio - stunning and exemplary aren't words that do justice - no comparison with Rhianna or Nikki or Bieber or Levine or Usher or Katy or Gaga or any of the 'pop' artists of today. Can't compare gold with fool's gold.
Then there was Fantasy Springs #2.
I was one of the women in the lobby. I know Adam tweeted; but I don't gamble and I already had a drink in my hand. I didn't travel to Palm Springs, one day after coming home from Europe, to experience 108 degree heat. I came to see Adam perform.
Friend and I had just finished lunch. We each had a glass of wine in our hands and were heading to the elevator when we noticed the lobby crowd. Someone said "Adam is coming down for the sound check" - so we sat on the bench at the lobby grand piano (obviously no one was playing!) to see what would happen.
Someone came from the elevators, surrounded by security. This person looked pretty small, and I thought 'what a poor excuse for a decoy!'. Head down; baseball cap on. Oh! Then he walked right by me and there was no mistaking the lip and upper lip freckles - and the teeth!! It was Adam, and he was, really, amused and laughing and looking very human. Inches away. I didn't touch.
That's what I need, folks.
I need to see the real thing. The real human being, because all this beauty and amazingness might make me forget that I'm rooted and sane and just merely obsessing. On stage he is twice, three times, the size. Adam creates a presence that is both commanding and astounding, perfect and vulnerable, orgasmic and childlike, confusing and clear.
You know this - you've heard of this from those who've been lucky enough to see him 'live' - 'alive'!
It is so fleeting; so momentary! When it's over it feels like a dream. I can't hold on to the reality of Adam Lambert. I want to, but he is fine sand in my grasp.
So, I do the ridiculous thing. Like at Fantasy Springs. I climbed over chairs to the front (guys, I'm 60 years old) when Adam commanded it. I screamed, for a moment, when a bone in my foot was crushed as the throngs moved aside, trying to accommodate the commands of security. It blended into the cries of ecstasy we felt with 'Naked Love'; I felt the pain of bondage.
Fantasy Springs was WILD.
Adam was wild. His entourage of friends and family were dancing and partying as they came to their seats. Made me wonder if my life was bland in comparison. Is life always this wonderful? Always such a reason to spin? I mean, they were on Cloud 10 - no wonder AFL came to party till they take us away! I was seeing the man who performed the night of the AMAs. He was determined to BE. This may be our unleashed, Zodiac, fuck-you Adam. I love wild! On the edge, in the front seat of the rollercoaster. Bring it on! His vocals were incredible. Don't worry about this boy caring for his voice. He knows what to do. He's got it and he knows it. Roger was right; please believe it. His voice is one in one hundred million.
"Thank you for letting me be myself again". Yeah!
I blame it on Adam's influence. He made me brave enough to go for the men's bathroom just before the show began; when the queue for 'Ladies' was a mile long and NO ONE needed 'men's' - how stupid is that?? Thanks to Adam, I'm outside the box. I'm ready to try to change 'by the rules we play'.
I began this post telling you how delightful it was to see Catz and Duchess leave arm-in-arm; I haven't mentioned how Theosgma gave me a bandage for my broken toe; nor have I spoken of the laughter I shared with Didilynn and JustKaren; or conversations with Lynne and Mangokat/Mr. Mangokat and many others from this kind, encouraging, understanding, unique place.
A special thank you to Drakius - the DVD of Kiev is spectacular!
And Adamrocks . . .you know why.
Tomorrow begins another chapter. Time to take my sorry self - still on Moscow time - off to rest. The toe that's now turning left will always remind me of the journey that took me off course, onto that poetic 'road less traveled' - although, Topians, I have to say, we are blazing a trail that is clearer and more spectacular every day.
