2009 Adam Lambert's AI 8 Performances

The three contestants who received a little more praise than they deserved: Adam Lambert, Danny Gokey, and Lil Rounds. Now before you Adam fans take to the message boards and eviscerate me, let me say this: Dude definitely gave his best performance to date last night on ''Black or White.'' The way Adam began the number with complete restraint actually allowed him to crescendo — both musically and emotionally — throughout the number, and I particularly liked the way he upped his enunciation to deliver that pointed line: ''I told them about equality, and it's true you're either wrong or you're right.''

That said, I didn't hear anything that would indicate Adam should get a full-season bye directly to the final two (as Paula suggested) or that he's in a ''totally different league'' from the competition (as Simon stated). There were moments on the bridge where I could hear a successor to Axl Rose, but there were also moments where I could hear the sound of a subway car coming to an abrupt, screeching halt as it enters a crowded station. Most folks view Adam in black or white, as season 8's great theatrical hope or its thuddingly awful screamer. For me, the situation is decidedly gray, and it's probably going to take me a few weeks at least to figure out the way he makes me feel.
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Here are the grades for the night:
Allison Iraheta: A-
Kris Allen: A-
Adam Lambert: B+
Alexis Grace: B+
Danny Gokey: B
Lil Rounds: B
Megan Joy Corkrey: B
Matt Giraud: B-
Michael Sarver: C+
Scott MacIntyre: C+
Anoop Desai: C
Jorge Nunez: C-
Jasmine Murray: D+

What did you think of tonight's show? Who got your votes, if any? How did you think the judges performed? And what to make of Alexis' ''Idols-36'' phone line? Does it help or hurt the pink-haired pixie?
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But anyhow, with the two-headed goal of providing a nutritious TV Watch without sleeping through my alarm, let's get back to the contestants' performances. And we'll go in order from best to worst:
Kris Allen
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Anoop Desai

Adam Lambert: Speaking of Mr. Cash, I wonder what he'd have made of Adam's sitar-infused rendition of ''Ring of Fire.'' Call me crazy, but given the fact that the Man in Black was tackling Nine Inch Nails tunes late in his career, I'm guessing he'd have enjoyed the wickedly theatrical spectacle of it all — at least the audio half of the equation — because, love him or hate him, Adam certainly nailed his vocal tonight, even when he used his swooping falsetto to steer the time-honored melody into Idol's red-light district. Paula again got it right when she drew a comparison to Led Zeppelin's ''Kashmir,'' I just wish she'd have warned him against pulling such aggressive faces while he's singing, the way she did with Casey Lambert (remember her?) back in the Week One semifinals. Still, as someone who's priced a ticket for the Adam Lambert Bandwagon without ever getting out my wallet and making a move to buy one, you have to hand it to the guy for his derring-do. He won't give you dull. And he won't tamp down on the flamboyance just because it might make a Randy Travis fan wan to chuck a television out the window. As Adam joked to a schoolgirl-giddy Ryan before he took the stage: ''I don't know about self-discipline, but it'll be signature.''
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And with that, tonight's scorecard:

Kris Allen: A-
Anoop Desai: B+
Adam Lambert: B+
Allison Iraheta: B+
Matt Giraud: B+
Alexis Grace: B
Danny Gokey: B-
Lil Rounds: B-
Megan (Joy) (Corkrey): C+
Michael Sarver: C
Scott MacIntyre: C-
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If I didn't know better, I'd suspect someone snuck into my apartment while I was eating dinner tonight and slipped a mickey into my Blue Moon. The whole evening is something of a blur — hey now, don't jump to conclusions; I only had one bottle! — but here's the patchwork of memories floating around in my brain: Ruben Studdard singing ''Gonna Make You Sweat.'' Megan (Joy and Pain) Corkrey reclining on the safety couches. Matt Giraud flirting with elimination. A possessed (and ravenous) Smokey Robinson repeatedly menacing a caterwauling Joss Stone. Paula Abdul's cleavage being only a flimsy strap and decorative buckle away from escaping the Idol soundstage and going off to fulfill its destiny as part of the cast of season 9 of Dancing With the Stars. And Adam Lambert emerging from the midst of a horribly choreographed dance routine to clutch the mic stand and belt portions of ''Ain't No Mountain High Enough.''
Was I having a nightmare fueled by sleep deprivation and Kara DioGuardi's sudden obsession with the word ''artistry''? Was it a gauzy dream floating on the dulcet wings of my iTunes download of Allison Iraheta's ''Papa Was a Rolling Stone''? No, actually, it was just a special Thursday-night edition of the American Idol results-show extravaganza!
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But then again, it seems like the results-show experience is getting further and further away from reality altogether. We've known for weeks now — just using our eyes and ears — that the group performances were being lip-synched. (Thanks, Jorge!) This week, however, after a New York Times report confirmed the use of a pre-recorded track, Idol's producers decided to give us a weird hybrid of music video and live stage performance, which (naturally) failed on both counts. It didn't help that I was completely startled by the way Idol cut from a shot of the contestants on the couches, to some footage of Hitsville USA, to the image of Allison, Lil (getting the primo center spot), and Megan bathed in white light at center stage, singing ''You Keep Me Hangin' On.'' The middle segment — pairing Lil and Matt, and Allison and Scott on ''You're All I Need to Get By'' — served only one purpose: To amuse me with the notion of how much harder it'll be for the producers to keep these segments heterosexually chugging along if Megan gets booted next week and leaves a six-guy, two-girl imbalance. And finally, there was the ''Ain't No Mountain High Enough'' portion of our show, with Lil standing front-and-center once again, Kris struggling with some very basic (and very hideous) dance steps, and Adam magically leaping into and out of formation to riff on the chorus.
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