10.4.15 Celebrating "Ghost Town", up next: ALN!!

10 Things I Hate About Adam
10/23/2011 by NoAngel

I've been berting pretty hard over the last few days and everything has taken on a soft rosy glow. In my happy haze, I even thought the leopard leggings outfit looked good, and that's when I thought maybe it was time to take stock and make sure that I hadn't fallen off the edge—that I still had the ability to keep some perspective on Adam. After all, he's not perfect.

So Adam, here's some things I don't like about you:

1. You keep secrets too well. We're dying here, dude. We stalk Twitter and mercilessly pester anyone who mentions being in the same hemisphere as you, just to find out what you're up to. If only you would tweet hourly updates of your whereabouts and activities, we wouldn't have to be such creepy ninjas.

2. You have disrupted my sleep for nearly 2 ½ years. Dark circles under the eyes are NOT a good look, Adam, and having people greet me with, "Are you okay? You look tired?" gets old.

3. You may be all about "more leather, less glitter," but who's gonna clean out all the silvery flecks left in my suitcase and travel bags? That shit is tenacious!

4. You have made my places-i-need-to-visit list way too long! How am I ever going to get to all these fabulous places with fabulous people? I was happy with the usual Paris-London-Buffalo wishlist, but now I have a deep insatiable longing to see Auckland, Helsinki, Amsterdam, Lubbock Texas... Okay, not Lubbock. Sorry, Texans, I love you, but no.

5. You have made me into one of "those people" who gets all twitchy if I'm more than 3 feet away from my iphone or laptop. My first thought when my phone vibrates is not, "Oh, that's probably my dear sister reminding me to send Auntie a birthday card," but rather, "Adam!!!!!!!!!" I consider it a sign of sanity that I actually have text alerts turned off during sleep hours.

6. You have been the cause of many an embarrassing real life moment. "Normal" people don't understand that one can have really great friends on the internet, and it's hard to bring up something that 'Sparkle4Evah' said to you the other day without raising some eyebrows. Work emails lose a bit of dignity when you accidentally add \o/ or : p or you reply to some good news with "yay!! ; )".

7. You are almost endlessly positive and lovely. This might seem like a good thing, but dude—next to you I look like a total jerk. Knock it off!

8. You know how you do that thing with your, um, thing, and then afterwards you always, uhhh… you know… Okay, I got nothing.

9. Being your fan has opened my eyes to some very bad things—the extent of homophobia (both blatant and insidious) worldwide, the cruelty of which people are capable under cover of anonymity, the inherent unfairness in the music business, the casual disregard for facts in journalism.

10. Being your fan has also shown me some beautiful things—the generosity of people inspired by love, the spirit of adventure that lies just under the surface in us, the way borders and time zones and language barriers fall away when we truly want to connect.

So it turns out I really don't hate you, Adam. In fact, I like you kind of a lot. So you just carry on being yourself, and I'll just carry on berting! The world looks pretty good in a soft rosy glow…