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Post by Sagittarius on Oct 15, 2012 15:46:44 GMT -5
So, so sorry to see you leave...I always enjoyed your posts !!!
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happy
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Post by happy on Oct 15, 2012 16:09:52 GMT -5
Aleksandra -- you have the soul of a poet and with that comes strong emotions and feelings -- like Adam! I always loved your posts and interpretations of song lyrics. I am not nearly as insightful as you and I really appreciated what you had to say.
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Post by mszue on Oct 15, 2012 16:11:55 GMT -5
I wanted to leave quietly, without any dramatic announcements or anything that would remotely resemble throwing tantrums or anything of that kind. I came back to post this because there are people here who I owe this to. They know who they are. I think they do. Truth be told, I also thought that what I felt for this place and its members was obvious, too, but I was wrong. Also, it kind of bugs me for anyone to suppose that I left because my post got deleted. I’m not that superficial or immature or preposterous, like to assume my words are golden and cannot be touched. Please believe me when I say so. So here is the truth: I was told that I was slamming Atop and Atopers. That broke my fucking heart. I was reported behind my back to the mods. That made me feel paranoid. A mod acted upon the report. That made me feel small. After the lump left my throat and the tears dried, I knew that I would eventually get over it. I’m a big girl. So, what finally made me delete my account here was the realization that I probably would not know what to post or how to post anymore. I’d be afraid to. So that is my final reason. Thanks to all of you who expressed your regret upon my leaving, here and on Twitter. As always, I am humbled by the kind and loving words: you know I love you back. I thought I was loving you back all the time. I was sure of it, damn it. I guess I can now add delusional to the list of my flaws. aleksandrakv...if you decide to periodically lurk...you may be interested in a Moongarden conversation and link on self-censorship. It is about exactly what you are feeling constrained to do and your feelings are absolutely legitimate! I am really sorry your attempt to silently leave for a bit has been outed as you are now unable to re-enter should you reconsider...without it being a public 'issue'. I hope you reconsider...your comments are always intelligent and well thought out. I only hope the person doing the back-reporting was fully vetted before being acted upon... Tinafea...I know modding must be a frustrating and somewhat thankless task...but for what it is worth...and perhaps that is not much...most of us here are sentient adults and at times, the random modding seems really excessive. It also goes in waves...so what is left alone one time, is slammed the next time so peeps seriously do not fully know what is OK and what is not. And what one person can 'get away' with, another cannot. Makes you feel like a frustrated child. I am trying to politely bring up a sensitive subject and realize that i am in danger of being modded as well...which is really problematic...sigh. We are losing a lot of the core, long-time membership of this forum and perhaps it is not realistic to always just say...that is the nature of forums. Heads in the sand cannot improve things. We as members are also doing our best...rarely do most of us mean to offend...and most of us are very ready to apologize if we realize we have offended. jmho...don't mean to offend...
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JazzRocks
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The Crazy Train is Ready to Roll!
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Post by JazzRocks on Oct 15, 2012 16:23:49 GMT -5
I wanted to leave quietly, without any dramatic announcements or anything that would remotely resemble throwing tantrums or anything of that kind. I came back to post this because there are people here who I owe this to. They know who they are. I think they do. Truth be told, I also thought that what I felt for this place and its members was obvious, too, but I was wrong. Also, it kind of bugs me for anyone to suppose that I left because my post got deleted. I’m not that superficial or immature or preposterous, like to assume my words are golden and cannot be touched. Please believe me when I say so. So here is the truth: I was told that I was slamming Atop and Atopers. That broke my fucking heart. I was reported behind my back to the mods. That made me feel paranoid. A mod acted upon the report. That made me feel small. After the lump left my throat and the tears dried, I knew that I would eventually get over it. I’m a big girl. So, what finally made me delete my account here was the realization that I probably would not know what to post or how to post anymore. I’d be afraid to. So that is my final reason. Thanks to all of you who expressed your regret upon my leaving, here and on Twitter. As always, I am humbled by the kind and loving words: you know I love you back. I thought I was loving you back all the time. I was sure of it, damn it. I guess I can now add delusional to the list of my flaws. I just found out that you have left and I'm so sorry. I haven't been here as much as I usually am because of RL so I have no idea what happened. You were a beautiful addition to this board and your absence is a loss!
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mahailia
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This Is LOVE
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Post by mahailia on Oct 15, 2012 16:28:19 GMT -5
Alek - just want to add that I think lots of Atoppers will miss your crazy ass, not just me. You always made it fun, and had some beautiful and deep thoughts as well. You can always lurk in the Moon Garden, and you can always come back when you're ready, which I hope you will be some day.
We have lost way too many of our members lately, I don't know why, because I haven't been around much since the spring. But I have noticed that some of my favorite peeps are no longer posting, or no longer members. Very sadzzzzzzzz.
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Post by nonchallance on Oct 15, 2012 16:44:30 GMT -5
I just want to say that IMHO this is a big loss for this forum. I understand reporting thing, I was a mod myself many times, but personally I've always preferred open discussion or PM to clarify misunderstandings between forum members without involving forum staff if it's not absolutely necessary.
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bobo
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Post by bobo on Oct 15, 2012 16:51:38 GMT -5
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Post by crazy4you on Oct 15, 2012 16:58:18 GMT -5
Aleksandra -- you have the soul of a poet and with that comes strong emotions and feelings -- like Adam! I always loved your posts and interpretations of song lyrics. I am not nearly as insightful as you and I really appreciated what you had to say. This is exactly how I feel, too. You will be missed.
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Post by revlisacat on Oct 15, 2012 19:14:42 GMT -5
Aleksandra -- If you see this, and I hope you will, I want to add to the voices saying that you will really be missed. I tend to scroll a lot lately because of real life, so I probably don't know some of what has been up lately. However, I have really enjoyed your enthusiasm, your spirit and your thoughtful conversation. Diversity is what makes the world go round, and I like the diversity that you added here! I am revlisacat on twitter for you or anyone who wants to follow.
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Post by wendyness on Oct 15, 2012 19:30:32 GMT -5
Dear Aleksandrakv, I'll miss your writing and view point very much. Your posts were what kept me coming back, seriously. I saw your twitter on the new thread so I'll follow you there. Thank you for all your outstanding writing.
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