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Post by gelly14 on Jul 31, 2011 12:12:15 GMT -5
rad1109These are the leggins he's wearing. 
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lynne
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Posts: 2,277
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Post by lynne on Jul 31, 2011 12:13:40 GMT -5
Change is always too slow, amw, but change is happening. I teach at a girl's prep school, and I am reminded of it constantly as I discuss civil rights issues with my classes each year. On the positive side, most of my students are very vocal about equal rights for all Americans, all races, all genders, straight and gay. We had three openly out seniors this past year in a fairly small senior class, girls who were all well-liked and accepted by students and teachers. They were all very open about their sexuality in class discussions; one wrote her college application essay about coming out in high school and subsequently has written several articles in various magazines about her experiences and views. Two of the girls attended prom together as a couple. One of our students changed gender identification from female to male and thus had to leave our school last year, but this student frequently comes back to visit at various school events and seems comfortable with
peers and accepted by them.
All of these students have bright minds, family support, and sibling support, so that helps them. These students have been with the same peers since seventh grade, and the environment at school at best is very family like.
It could be that girls accept out girls more easily than boys accept out boys, I don't know. But I will say this- from what I see at my school, the mothers of the next generation will
look at sexuality in a far more fluid way than did the mothers of my generation. Out celebrities like Adam, who are honest and courageous in the way they live their lives, will help the whole process move more quickly.
I admire Adam so much. The way he lives his life in the limelight being real, being comfortable enough to share all the sides of human experience, is personally inspiring.
It certainly took me a lot longer to out and out break open and be fully real with people in
my life, but having *mainly* arrived there, it is a wonderful place to be.
"if minds would just be open, open..."
Another great essay, NoAngel.
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Post by gelly14 on Jul 31, 2011 12:13:45 GMT -5
timegoesby
I think your avi is one of the BEST pictures EVAH!!! LOVE IT!!! :D
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Post by Q3 on Jul 31, 2011 12:14:41 GMT -5
Avari -- so sorry we did not meet each other -- but there always are many fans who come alone to see Adam and just end up meeting other Adam fans. Seemed to be a lot of solo American fans at this concert.
And your description of "predatory" make up is perfect -- it was very Egyptian hawkesque. Like the Eye of Horus.
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Post by cassie on Jul 31, 2011 12:15:17 GMT -5
amw: Wanted to comment on your dilemma a bit. First, to say I understand where you are coming from, as much as a straight person can. I have had wonderful gay friends over the years, and, as a result, have had my own orientation questioned repeatedly, by association. So, I know you are not being paranoid in considering the inferences that could be drawn from you posting OoL. Honestly, I did consider that myself before deciding to post the video and lyrics. We all celebrate Adam for being out and proud in front of the world. But, his circumstances are not necessarily the same as others. In certain professions, being out can mean you could be shunned or even lose your job. There is a thin line between being courageous and honest and being realistic about the way things still are in this world. I remember once discussing a gay guy with his team teacher, who was close to him. I casually (and naively, stoopidly) made some reference to his orientation and she shut me down in an instant. Her response was, "I don't know about that, and I don't want to know." ..... O K then. Just saying, I support whatever decision you make. And am sending you big hugs. 
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Post by rihannsu on Jul 31, 2011 12:24:46 GMT -5
I came across a link on twitter to a livejournal post about OOL that really touched me. Because you had to be logged in to livejournal to see it I asked if I could post the entry here and received permission to do so. She had a link to the TALC video which I did not include. It just goes to show that what reaches and grabs each of us is as diverse as we all are. Remember this when you read people saying the song is boring or cheesy or trite. What is one person's emotional nirvana is another's cheese fest. I laugh when I see people going on about Adam's lyrics being cheesy, cliche, or trite because I saw the same type of comments continually on U2 boards about Bono who is an extremely well respected songwriter as well as about specific songs of theirs which are in most circles considered iconic. It no longer bothers me to see those comments because I also know that there is always hope that someday an Adam song will completely change their life. I've read countless stories of people who spent 20 years hating U2 and Bono with a passion until suddenly one particular song speaks to a moment in their life and suddenly the band's entire catalog becomes a totally new experience. Resistance is ultimately futile.
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Post by SusieFierce on Jul 31, 2011 12:25:24 GMT -5
Loved your recap, Q3!! Wow, wish I was there. Could have been Vegas 2.0. Spring, your pics are GORGEOUS!!
Mayumi, you're thinking of Carttash (Maria); she's from Azerbaijan. She's on Twitter. We see her a lot. She's doing great and still loves her some Adam.
AMW (and everyone else), your stories are so heartbreaking and compelling and yes, we don't even realize in this day and age what people who are out loud and proud still go through. I know AMW as a fierce, out and proud woman, but that just goes to show how deep it runs and how every situation must be analyzed for acceptance. That's heartbreaking. I truly think "Outlaws of Love" is indicative of that (and I also agree that the song has a universal quality to anyone whose love is outside what is expected of their families and society).
Some people were conveying yesterday that this song is different than the confident Adam we're used to, which of course, fostered more discussion. NoAngel, as always, you nailed your essay and while I agree Adam has had a a better experience in his WeHo bubble than many, he has still suffered the affects of discrimination. His experience with "The Ten Commandments" as he relayed in his speech prior to ACIGC at Music Box, for example. And since so many people have been "broken open" to him, he has experienced the broken hearts and homes through them as well.
Cheeks recently wrote a very raw blog about being pretty much disowned by his family in Texas, IIRC. So, even though Adam has a family and friends who loved and supported him unconditionally, he's still seen a lot of the pain. Of course, in the past few years he's seen more than he probably ever imagined existed.
AMW, now that I think of it, I am very close to a gay couple that lives in WeHo. Both MyS*&@^#r and 8toInfinity have met them. They've been together for years and even in their own home (I stay with them when in L.A.), I have never seen them express affection, which strikes me as a little odd. It could be that they have been together six years and they're kind of past that stage, or is it so ingrained to not do it?
I was extremely shocked last year when I was at Disneyland during Gay Days and we past two guys holding hands and one had on a T-shirt that said, "I'm a free bitch, baby!" My friend said she thought that was rather inappropriate for Disneyland (years ago, if you had anything on a shirt that could be considered profane, Disney would make you turn it inside-out). My sister (who was a vehement No on 8 supporter) said something about them holding hands. I looked at her like WTAF? I said, "Why the hell shouldn't they be holding hands?" At that moment, I think she got the inanity of her comment and looked rather embarrassed. Bottom line, I think she just wasn't used to it.
So many of these things are just a matter of your first introduction, I think. As many have related, they didn't think about it so much until a child, friend or loved one comes out. It might be shocking at first, but most people get over it rather quickly.
LOL, sorry for the tl;dr
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Post by gelly14 on Jul 31, 2011 12:26:32 GMT -5
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Post by adamrocks on Jul 31, 2011 12:35:55 GMT -5
I was a little hesitant at first to let everyone around me know how much of an Adam fan I was. Now....I am 'out and proud' of my appreciation and respect for Adam's amazing talent, charisma, and beautiful soul. People will say to me that I really have become an outspoken advocate of the Gay movement. I let them know I am an outspoken advocate of 'equal rights for everyone' and that it is everyone's right to love and be loved. I have always respected the Gay community but more silently from the sidelines. Adam's journey has made me more aware of the many challenges and injustices that are still prevalent in our society. I can not be  any longer. And thank you to those in the Atop community who share your experiences with us...you help me continue to grow. |
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Post by midwifespal on Jul 31, 2011 12:41:19 GMT -5
Ok, so here's a classic dilemma of a gay person leading an interesting in/out life. I really WANT TO POST THIS SONG ON MY FACEBOOK page. But I have too many "friends" who are previous or current clients. IS this OK? I think? Should I do this? No, I think, maybe not; wouldn't want to "Offend" anyone. Because my being gay forces people who I come out in support of gay people or as a gay person to think about my sexuality. Maybe I don't really want them to ponder my sexuality. It's easier to be in professional (and sometimes personal) relationship with straight people when what is at the forefront of their brains in not my sexuality. And 99% of my clients are straight women and their husbands. I'm really SURE most of their husbands do not want to know this about me, even if 75% are liberal free thinkers. Does this make sense? So this is my dilemma. I will likely post this under my anonymous FB account, but I do not have nearly as many "friends" there as it was built for safety purposes. I had not cried while hearing this song until I started thinking about sharing it. It strikes me hard that even I, liberal hippie child that I am have fear of being "found out". It wasn't until I came out that I had even an inkling of hiding anything about myself. I'm an extrovert, classically gregarious, love to have a good time, dance, party, work hard, play hard kind of woman. I am passionate in speech and actions about the things I believe in and care about and my activism as a lesbian has been lacking because of what my partner and I would risk in professional happiness and financial ability if a parent of a student, or a client/patient took offense at who she or I love. Until laws change, marriage for ALL is granted to those who decide to marry who they love, adoptions laws are changed so that in ALL states good parents would just be noted as good parents and gays can adopt children who need loving homes, this double life exists for almost anyone who is gay in this country and most of the world. Adam, lucky Adam, has been gifted with a talent, coupled with insane confidence and belief in himself that he can be OUT LOUD PROUD every fucking day!! The music industry is not insulted by his sexuality on the whole. I am happy for him.AMW, my love, I'm so sorry (although also, in another way, happy) to see you posting today about the difficulties and injustices that thinking about this song has brought to the forefront for you. It was an honor and a pleasure watching the beautiful videos of Outlaws of Love with you and your terrific wife yesterday morning, and I hope I am not betraying a privacy when I say that for me, watching you guys watch that together and talk about it briefly brought all the heartache of the song to life, but also all the romance of it, the individualism, the toughness, the reasonableness, the normalcy, the going it all the way for the love of each other and for the love of living in the world as it ought to be, not in the world as it is, in the face of all idiocy. SO thank you for that, and thanks to her, too... But, of course, as your posts today make all too obvious, we also have to navigate the world as it is... You should do whatever you want with your facebook page--whatever makes you happiest and most comfortable, because there is no reason on earth that you should ever be made to feel more uncomfortable than this unjust society is already set up to make you feel. The thing is, something you said, and something NoAngel touched on in an earlier post as well, stuck with me: namely, that you DO live in a liberal place (as does NoAngel), you have "liberal" "openminded" clients--you're a midwife, for god's sake, you professional world is hardly the bastion of the conservative establishment. And yet, and yet, even in this world, in Freaking Hippy Austin, there are constant calculations forced on LGBT people--calculations which it wouldn't occur to the straight majority to think twice about. Which breaks my heart a little. (I think you're right--it has to do with the mainstream world somehow weirdly sexualizing everything about gay people--when these clients meet a straight person, they wouldn't dream of thinking about their sex-life, and yet somehow if a person is gay, people think of them immediately in terms of their sexuality (when, as Adam so often says, that is only one small, private thing about them). Even the most out and proud person would hesitate to be thought of in those terms in their professional life.) Because I know you so well--like Adam, you are a free spirit, not someone who worries naturally in any way about appearances, not someone who is self-conscious, or shy, or unwilling to speak her mind. You are a Get-It-Girl-- the Get-It-Girl--and live your life as if there is no point in living unless you are living differently and on your own wavelength. Which is why, irrepressible woman that you are, you ended your sad post on such a happy, positive note (  ). And yet you have these horrible considerations. And so, again and again, does Adam, and like so many LGBT people you have both become so accustomed to them that you take them sturdily in your stride, say without complaining, "so i don't hold hands with my lover," or "so I tone it down a little on this TV show," no biggie, "I wouldn't want to offend...." And it's not only "I wouldn't want to offend.." it's "I wouldn't want to offend my friend..." or "I wouldn't want to offend my fan..." which are somehow so much worse even.  So mainly, all this jabbering is just to say I'm sorry, and that I think, too, with cookie, that if you want to post that vid you can, because it is more generally a love song, and about love affairs that don't have the future they deserve, and have to fight against an inhospitable world. And because it is the truth. But don't feel bad if you don't feel you can--you shouldn't feel bad about anything at all. <3 |
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