8.21.11 Adam News & Info

Dead thread, but your post brought to mind my own experience and frustration with the "wall". Some years ago I had a colleague who was gay, but in the closet, at least when it came to work. He even married a lesbian woman in order to keep up appearances. (They divorced later, I guess having established their heterosexuality to everyone's satisfaction.) The thing is, because of gay friends I had, I knew the truth. But he didn't know that I knew, and I couldn't figure out how to tell him. Was it even my place to say anything, given his choice to present himself as straight at work?

Cutting to the chase, his partner died of AIDS. But, to everyone at work, it was just his roommate who died, and it was from some unspecified, sudden illness. He could not take time off of work, could not react and act as someone who had lost the love of his life to a terrible illness that he might also contract. I wanted to reach out, break thru that wall, and express my sympathy, support and concern. But, I didn't. I also watched as he became frail and ill with AIDS, again, in secret. I kept my silence with great frustration. Life went on, I changed jobs, never saw him again, and only heard later that he had died, keeping his secret to his grave.

My point is, when people feel they must maintain that wall, for whatever reason, we all lose a bit of our humanity. I lost the opportunity to reach out in love to a wonderful man. He lost the support of those who would have accepted and embraced who he was. We all played these roles that were uncomfortable and unnatural. It is something I deeply regret, even many years later.

We are making progress, but we have so far to go. I am grateful to Adam for being who he is, for being genuine and brave. I am grateful that because of him, there are others who are inspired to dare to tear down that wall.

I know this is a dead thread, but I just had to respond to cassie's awesome (yet again) post.



This quite simply brought me to tears on so many, many levels

I have only realised in the last couple of years since #berting Adam, just how lucky I was in my late teens and twenties to have been part of the 'gay' scene in a much more accepting country on the other side of the world.

Don't get me wrong.... homophobia still exists here - without a doubt, but it's.... I don't know, hard to explain....so much more diluted here IMO.

Still really, really irritating when it arises here, but overall I am somewhat staggered by the huge wall/barrier that the US is having to overcome in the fight for equality for the LBGT community.

Growing up in a small, fierce, pioneering country at the bottom of the globe has it's advantages ;D

Medges, seventeen rings , three sweaters, and black leather pants.





Thanks Buders!!!!!