3.3.12 Fault Magazine, Vail Concert, New UK Single

OMG!!!! I miss you guys so much like crazy!!! I couldn't function on dayle bases.I tryed stay awy from Adam,Adamtopia etc... but is not easy at all.Whatever I do may mind working overtime wondering about Adamtopia and our boy.Drives me crazy!!The day when I freak out has something to do with susie post.I was follow her because I like what she write so I go along with that. Then I sow respond or comment (I don't remember now) with angry smileys that was the moment I freak out.Oh shit !I mess up something. Fuck !if I do I don't know English that much to defense myself.I post maybe 2more posts and I was done. I was so confused and embarrassed,that was my thoughts .I make full of myself way I butti in.What I'm doing I most stop this nonsense.If I'm weird and sound desperate is true.I'm very desperate to have somebody to be free to talk about Adam. To enjoy he's voice,music.He's the most fascinating ,exciting artist,entertainer, performer,incredible,unique human been.I have no one and don't know no one who like Adam and is sad! I have 2sons the not Adam fans other and I know they get annoyed if I try talking about him,so I try not to.Is nearly 2 years and boys know Adam is really impotent to me and he's part of my family.Adam is "babe brother" to them.Adam is my medicine for everything and boys see that.They not criticize or comment about Adam or my behavior. I'm sure deep down they are glad Adam came to my life just at the right time.This days I take one day at the time ,not worry me tomorrow.I'm glad get up each morning breathe,have my 3 boys (now I have 3)in my heart.They my air,energy,they may golden engine to keep me going day after day they my life.My boys give me computer ,the show me how to use just the basic and show me how to look for Adam any info.The new I bee happy and excited and live them alone. Few weeks ago wen I start wrote with Adamtopia my son say to me I gonna only embarrasses myself but he say in good way.Now I stop writing he ask me what is mater nothing I say maybe one day I start again.The other day my son walk in to my room and sow all my notes, words and the sentence which some of them he help me (he never say no to me when ask for English words or how to write the sentence. Wow mum this is hard job you do.He read few of them look at me and say:you relay serious about those Adamtopia people.Oh yes! I answer. The amazing bunch of people.They so smart, very friendly.They welcome every one new with such excitement.They celebrate each other birthday they're truly awesome people.They love Adam with huge respect like I do.They know everything about him.They're the best detectives, ninjas you can ask for if cams to know and be close to Adam as possible.I have not enough word to describe and how I admire all off them.Love them to bits!!! Good he say what ever make you happy mum and left the room.You guys have no idea how hard is to keep all feelings ,emotions, excited etc...and have no 0ne to share.It is painful. OMG!!!I see your reaction to my last post I got tears in my eyes.OMG everything is alright .I'm so stupid, I confused you and live you just like that .It fuck! is not normal(well I never was normal). Pleas forgive me.You all men world to me.I learn so much from you guys.You all the most amazing people I ever meet in my life.All I want is wrap my arms around you and hold close to my heart because is the place where you all belong in my heart. I'm not sure is this had any sens of it but is the best I can do to explain myself to you. Love with respect to all of you and Adam!!!