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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2012 20:59:56 GMT -5
I like this place, I think it's needed. I had pretty much given up posting any speculation, analysis, feelings or opinions because of the fragility of the main thread. Maybe there is more breathing room here.
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RjacksPF
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"Is it kickin' in? Do you feel it?"
Posts: 167
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Post by RjacksPF on May 31, 2012 21:14:01 GMT -5
Hi everyone. Rjacks (yesterday's apparent Darth Vader) here. At least I think I was the one (or part of the ones) who instigated the Dark thread. Good to read the posts here and still appreciate the support I received yesterday. What started out as a bit of a plea for comfort ended up making me cry. I think of Atop as a safe place but I don't feel safe anymore. Feel like a child who has been chastized. Still don't know what was so bad about my post but what's done is done. Just a bit scarred from it and no clue as to how to post anymore. These Dark threads (described by others as the place you don't want to go - "don't worry, be happy") are temporary. I don't think Adam views the Light and Dark as either bad or good. We all have both. I think Light and Dark on Atop is not in line with his meaning. I'm feeling here that Dark is where the naughty people go (and I don't mean naughty in a good way - lol). The non-team players. Sorry for the ramble. Still processing last night and just not sure what to do. I understand that we don't want to be mean and disrespectful to other posters and Adam. Where do the other thoughts go (the ones that are neither happy-happy-joy-joy nor negative-hurtful)?
BB, i saw your post as exactly that-- a plea for comfort. I wish I had responded to you yesterday to tell you so. I'm always late to the thread and often have to read backwards... I miss a lot.
No worries, bb. I miss a lot too. I appreciate that you understood what I meant. Means a lot.
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RjacksPF
Member
"Is it kickin' in? Do you feel it?"
Posts: 167
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Post by RjacksPF on May 31, 2012 21:18:07 GMT -5
Ohhhhh I love the current additions of the pretty lights (but we need really dim bulbs in them) and Seoulmate, you have to let me share your corner too!! Soooooooo pretty! Can someone enlarge the moongarden pics I posted? I'm so bad at even posting a pic, I have no clue how. Hated the way they posted with the dimensions on them too. UGH! Seoulmate, the Kelly I was po'ed at (just a bit) is Kelly Rippa, who is a tv host. Used to be Regis & Kelly til last year. Just so ya know. Aloha, I so agree about negative feelings coming from where you are in RL. That's why I haven't been posting much for months. My RL has been so fucked up & depressing, anything I would start to post seemed so down & negative. Well, except for major flailing times, which were about the only times I could actually let go of what was going on with me. It's slowly getting better. Still a work in progress. I think this place is shaping up nicely. It's not where I will hang all of the time, but I think it's nice that there is a place to come and be comforted. And, not feel bad if you have something you need to express that may unduly rile peeps on the main board. Interpretation is always going to be different for everyone, unfortunately. Rjackspf ((Hugs)) again. I just knew you were feeling so bad yesterday. I felt so bad for you. You did not do/say anything that bad or negative and I wish that I had had the guts to stand up for you better. Don't know if it would have done any good, but I feel bad now that I didn't at least try. I really hate feeling this separation was necessary, but for now, it seems the best way. And, I'm feeling pretty mellow here, probably because I don't have to watch every word I type. I just can't seem to flail all the time. I've probably posted more today than I have for a month. Move over, Seoulmate (you big ostrich...hahahaha luv it), I'm tired & need to stretch out!! Thanks for the hugs - still feels good. ;-) Standing up for me might have backfired on you anyway, but I like knowing you would if you could.
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Post by HoppersSkippersMiners on May 31, 2012 21:21:25 GMT -5
Was listening to DC101 -> the "Elliot in the Morning" show. They played the YouTube of a 3-year old singing “Ain't No Homos Gonna Go to Heaven” with the entire church whooping and praising the boy as he sang. They should arrest the parents of that kid for child endangerment and the rest of the congregation for something - anything! [opens a carved box sitting on seoulmate's table] [pulls out a sandalwood-scented taper; lights with long match] [watches quietly as wax starts to drip downwards] Hate that begets hate. Learned bigotry. What to do? Can't hate a 3-year old. Just can stare agast at the people surrounding him, perpetuating that hatred. These are same sort of people who would say "the only good nigger is a dead nigger", laugh at stories of Chinamen drowning in their laundries, and look on with satisfaction as their Jewish neighbors are rounded up into cattle cars. What do you do with people like that? What are the options? Reasonable ones, that don't turn you into the mirror image of the behaviors you abhor. [runs fingers through streams of warm candle wax; looks up] Education. Humanizing those that they try to demonize. And legislating equality, to counter those who would gleefully narrow down rights to solely their personal definition of righteousness. Legislated. As the fact that others, equality fanatic in their beliefs, would do the same to them if given a chance doesn't seem to ping any sense of irony within their fanaticism. Baptize your infants or they'll go to hell? Kill the infidels so you'll get your 91 virgins? Humans have depths of cruelty that are unfathomable. Adam is the human cast, by many, in the role of demon. With every interview and song he tries to change that tide. But that tide is strong. It is changing, especially in the young. But the water remains deep and icy cold. I grieve at times.
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Post by HoppersSkippersMiners on May 31, 2012 21:26:35 GMT -5
[bows]
Welcome to the dark.
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Post by seoulmate on May 31, 2012 21:30:39 GMT -5
Thanks for the hugs - still feels good. ;-) Standing up for me might have backfired on you anyway, but I like knowing you would if you could. I don't even know WTF went on yesterday, but I love you, Rjacks!!! SQUISHES YOU!!!
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Post by seoulmate on May 31, 2012 21:43:23 GMT -5
and mika... by all means get rid of that too-bright ceiling light!! And glittergma and anyone else... y'all are welcome to share my corner!
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RjacksPF
Member
"Is it kickin' in? Do you feel it?"
Posts: 167
Location:
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Post by RjacksPF on May 31, 2012 21:51:07 GMT -5
[stirs tea] BB - to be utterly honest, I think it was less what you said than the way you stated it. The font you initially used was SO BIG and SO BOLDED that it looked (as things do in blogs which are reliant on the written format) that you were shouting. And since what you were posting was a complete 180 from what most other people were posting throughout the day, I think that to many it came off as less of a plea and more of a "DAMMIT - HOW DARE ALL OF YOU THINK THINGS ARE OK??!!??!!", which I seriously don't think you meant. [sighs] Hence why the mods are really encouraging peeps to go back to standard font sizes until you truly *intend* to emphasize a point. [sips tea again; grins] BTW - Kudos for getting Tommy McFly drunk enough to start spilling his DJ guts at Freshtival. I found your stories quite entertaining. ;D Sorry for leaving so early. Was beyond tired. I hear what you're saying but...I've been using that font for a few weeks (since the new features were added) and no body said anything about my other posts. No clue it was a problem or inappropriate. As for my post being different, I actually posted my comment in reply to someone posting the negative CA article. That article combined with other articles like BB (posted on Atop), just culminated in my response. I don't feel it came across as me challenging what others were thinking. It was about how I felt, that's all. Whatever. I've beat a dead horse so will agree to disagree with whoever didn't like my post or feel it was too negative compared to others.
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RjacksPF
Member
"Is it kickin' in? Do you feel it?"
Posts: 167
Location:
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Post by RjacksPF on May 31, 2012 21:54:02 GMT -5
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Post by HoppersSkippersMiners on May 31, 2012 21:55:30 GMT -5
[smiles softly behind flickering candle flame] [pulls another, tiny, box out of seoulmate's corner] [opens box] [music box tinkles while revolving around a glittering crystal and filigree star] [soundcloud]http://soundcloud.com/nationalglampoon/nirvana[/soundcloud] I love this. [settles into floor pillow; watches in near-trance]
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