(The skunk and I will weigh in as this is an issue of deep interest to me.)
Fan wars - and similar behavior - are sparked and perpetuated by immaturity and lack of personal accountability. (No need to put lipstick on that pig as my uncle used to say...)
Wading though pages of mean-spirited vitriol can absolutely wear one down and rouse the lizard brain (I speak from experience), but the minute you hit that reply button 'because they started it' (seriously - did anybody's Mom accept that excuse?) flags should go up.
Sure, you tell yourself, you're going to be one of the few voices of reason and not be snide or superior about your position. Not take shots at the other person's object of admiration. Yeah, that's the theory. But, really how often does reason make any real headway and it takes two to slap fight.
Reasonable, mature people quickly realize they have no desire to hang around places/people like that. Sure it may be fun - but like eating foods that are bad for you day in, day out, it takes a toll. So maybe have the super ego put a leash on the lizard brain and stroll it on over to a community where you spend most of your time enjoying the happier aspects of fandom (or whatever - politics, media, etc.) and save your hammer of internet justice for meaningful (as in have actual influence) and deserving targets.
Or you may be one of those people who enjoys allowing your inner mean girl/boy out to play - it is only a virtual playground after all. Who could get hurt?
I don't know how many sites I've abandoned (not Adam specific) b/c of the hatefulness of the tone. And the response to any complaint is always the same "oh, that's why we're here - to mock" or "we're just in it for the snark." Please. I enjoy satire and snark but junior high yuks and thinly veiled bullying not the same oddly enough.
This always reminds me of the bit Ellen Degeneres does where she talks about people who insult you and then say "just kidding" - her response "well, you're not doing it right because we should both be laughing." Of course, better moderated sites have their own lesser struggles with passive aggressive biting and concern trolling but it's better than name calling and actually embracing your not so inner troll.
I bought the book below at the airport and it's really quite good. Articulated and confirmed a lot of things that had been increasingly bothering me. Of course, the author doesn't really think things will get better any time soon but does hope to get right-minded folks to take a look at the consequences of falling down these particular rabbit holes. (Maybe good for young people - that recent article in Rolling Stone about the "internet girl" who's 'name' I refuse to use was sickening on many levels.)
Title: "Virtually You: The Dangerous Powers of the E-Personality"
This is a short abc news bit on it:
abcnews.go.com/Technology/online-life-harms-civility-creates-aggressive-personality-psychiatrist/story?id=12771299[Feeding the skunk some well-deserved lettuce and wondering how I forgot that pouring hot water in a crystal pitcher is...unwise. I'll just stand here and pick glass out of my hair while I refresh basic science rules.]
. The language is Icelandic.
* AL Nov. 5th, 2011
Let's celebrate the music together!