Oh God! I've just realised that it's been nearly two weeks since I dumped my life story in this thread and then never came back.
To all that responded with love and support - I am so sorry that I didn't reply.
It's just really hard to explain how my brain works right now with so much crap going on.
I did come back and read your responses a couple of days later - and promptly burst in to tears.... and simply was unable to articulate properly through a keyboard how much that meant to me. I was always gonna come back the next day to respond...but the daily crap keeps happening and I kept putting it off until I could thank you each individually.... and the days kept rolling by... and it got more and more difficult to do [in my head]. It wasn't that I didn't want to.... it's just that I couldn't.... it's so frigging hard to explain.
It's WAY easier to post on the daily thread, cos ya can just 'dump' Adam stuff and run out of the thread and not have to 'engage' in meaningful shit if you don't want to. <<<<<This is me right now. I lurk. I need to know. I enjoy everything posted #wellmostofit :
and I simply cannot enter into dialogue of any sort. My mind is fried. I've also just realised that I have
14 PM's that I haven't replied to. I so fail spectacularly at PM's - sorry peeps once again.
I'mma going to try and make up for my shortcomings now tho.
miachihu TY bb for caring
and yep running out of toilet paper etc. has an equally catastrophic place in my world....LOL LOL LOL
gelly14 sweet lady, yes it is the sheer joy of the Adam fandom and it's delicious humour that has helped me so much over the last couple of years. Without it, I'm not quite sure whether I would have got through some very dark patches. Like you
I also love to make folk laugh and in doing that it helps the pain and anger that we feel dissipate just a little and lighten the load that we carry. This THING I know YOU understand. Luvz
spring2009 {{{HUGS}}} *passes you a box of tissues* and I'd just like to point out that having
LOTS of adorable fluffies is in itself a thing of magic - but geez the multiple personalties can be tricky. Throughout it all.... this CatzMadam tries really hard to stay 'on top' and be 'HBIC' at all times #mostlyfails. It is a whole lot easier with the 5 fluffies I have now, rather than the 10 I had a few years ago. However, in saying that.... the 5 that have moved on to the rainbow bridge.... well they are remembered, so loved and thought of daily.
JazzRocks One can only wake up each day and move forward - however hard that might be. There are simply no other options. TY for caring.
tiilis Sending you a thousand {{{HUGS}}} right back to ya
Good to know you are a Geo Tech and yes our soil here (at our specific properties) is somewhat dodgy, with known land fill years ago.... and still the Council allowed these houses to be built >:(
durberville no, not strong, just beyond exhausted (mentally and physically) - but I have no other options available except to move forward every day and take baby steps.
rihannsu TY for your support and yep, agree with you totally at this stage about renting vs owning. It's certainly nice to own your own home and be able to make decisions about YOUR house - but right now, for me, the whole home owning thing is sucking donkey balls BIGTIME...lol Right now it would be way cool if I could dump all this shit on the *poor* landlord. But that's not gonna happen. :(
lynne your niece's poem is PERFECT! Thank you for sharing
I am such a firm believer in karma and part of what this whole saga is doing to my head is WTF????? have I done in past lives to deserve this? I can only assume, given my belief system, is that these things are happening to me because I need to learn certain lessons and that I will be able to move forward in my journey to eventual enlightenment.
#yesIamahippydippypeaceloveandlentilschick
marysue TY - yup, I'm totally living in a RL soap opera. Maybe I should send a 'script' to TPTB and suggest some new story lines..... 8-) :
Hey, they could use some...js...lol
stardust TY
Yup, have my Mum's house still, but it is a constant drain financially with ongoing annual rates and insurance etc. On the one hand, it will give me a bolt hole to escape to when my land fix takes place.... on the other hand it is very close to a main road and my beautiful fluffies have always lived down a long drive very far far removed from a road. I'm scared for them - not me!
Cassie As usual you hit he nail on the head, you wonderfully insightful, eloquent and articulate lady - you are seriously wonderful
. The hard thing, for me, is that I had just spent two years coming out of my well deserved and earned 'nervous breakdown' phase from my Mother when I went to the US for my GNT's and then a couple of months later the NZ/OZ GNT concerts. I was finally discovering 'life' again. It was my 'rebirth' and exhillerating. Six weeks back from OZ and the 'drama/crap' started again and hasn't stopped. Tired of it all and just want to put a perfectly manicured, black nail polished hand up and go *yawn* right now.... next?
And last, but not least, to the irrepressible
Seoulmate I was keeping you for the end girlfriend cos I was gobsmacked by your smiley, overload, work of art thingy (and yer beautiful words). How long did that take you???? I stand in awe of your smiley skillz and luvz you to bits bb.
Back at ya with luvz....
and furthermore:
Righto... I think I have responded to everyone and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart
So will move it all right along and I want to give lots of LURVE to other Atopians who are dealing with THEIR personal crap and dramas...
This board is special and I feel honoured to be part of it
kapsiz ALL your family is A-DORA.BLES - srysly ;D
mzsue so, so happy for you, your sister and your family that she has improved {{{HUGS}}}
glittergma words fail me dahling... but just want to say that I DO understand. When one of our beloved furries is there one day and not the next.... it carves a hole in your soul - it just does. {{{HUGS}}} beautiful lady to you and to Foster.
OK - I'm done for now.... this post has taken me FOREVAH.... #wordybitch
I need to go to bed - RL is .... hmmmmm..... RL is just beyond sanity right now.
I love you Atop members.... take care and luvz
and I simply cannot enter into dialogue of any sort. My mind is fried. I've also just realised that I have 14 PM's that I haven't replied to. I so fail spectacularly at PM's - sorry peeps once again. 
