12.28.11 Best of 2011- music, movies and books!!

Umm, I'm kind of a one-note girl this year on recommendations ...

Book: "The Help"
Movie: "The Help"
Album: "21"
Single that is not Better Than I Know Myself: "Someone Like You"

I can understand where you are coming from but I would like to point out that there is a huge difference between having a public meltdown with a dear one and having a vodka+jetlag infueled public meltdown with a dear one. Yes it was stupid but there is literally no person on this earth who can guarantee what their behavior will be like under the influence. When he starts having public fights with Sauli without benefit of alcohol THAT is when I will be squicked out. It was ill advised and ultimately embarrassing but to think of either of them as abusive based on ONE widely misreported incident is in many ways irresponsible as well. This is the catch 22 in trying to raise awareness about abuse. Sometimes mountains are created out of molehills. I don't think I have ever attended any kind of party or get together that involved alcohol that didn't have at least one incident that could have been reported and blown out of proportion in this same way had it involved someone famous.

ANYONE is capable of becoming pushy and even violent when under the influence and it is not necessarily because of any lack of character. When you are disoriented due to drink or even exhaustion you can perceive a situation as threatening thus actually creating a fight where none would have existed otherwise.

Oddly enough in my mind this kind of relates to the reason I will not groom a dog that has been given a mild sedative. Unless the dog is completely unconscious it becomes impossible to predict their behavior and even a dog that would normally be easy to handle can react viciously when disoriented.


Also as to having a meltdown with a dear one being unhealthy I think that depends on what one considers a meltdown. The discussions my family had over dinner even when we were all in agreement on an issue would be considered knock down drag out fights by some people.

A couple of weeks ago the morning DJ at the station I listened to asked for people to call in if they had ever started a fight with their significant other for no reason whatsoever just to have make-up sex. He was absolutely blown away by the number of women who called in saying that they would start fights with their partners just to "spice things up". Some even admitted that they kept pushing to the point of physical pushing and shoving in order to get the kind of hot physical sex they were looking for.

But beyond all that Adam has repeatedly said that he has a dark side and he can be difficult. Long before this latest song came around he has said he can be obnoxious and that he has problems with jealousy and possessiveness but that he is working on it. The very fact that he is aware of these issues and acknowledges that he needs to work on them is one of the reasons that I am not in the least worried about them. They will work it out or they won't but I am confident that even if they don't work it out they will have given it their best shot. The fact that Adam has kept so many loyal friends for so many years also tells me that he is at heart a decent person and will ultimately do his best. Beyond that none of us are close enough to the situation to be of any judge as to whether there is a problem or not.

Given that the police stated that there was absolutely no evidence of any injury, if this had happened to friends of mine I'd be ragging on them for the public drunkeness for sure but we'd probably all be laughing our asses off about it.