2.19.22 Starstruck Episode 2

Thank you sizzling63…..intellectually I know you are absolutely right,

I have so often pulled myself back by saying that I am only an observer with a different experience of living this life. I have tried to embrace without judgement. I feel I have largely done this, have had my mind opened and I have enjoyed learning so much from Adam and his reality.

But in my heart I can’t help but feel sad and disappointed that such behaviours might be felt necessary for affirmation and liberation.

Whatever understanding I lack, I think everyone deserves self-respect and respect from others without having to demean themselves to show how happy they are in their skins and how free from the opinions of others they are.
Isn’t there an obvious irony there?

Dignity will always make its point so much better.

Hi girldrummer

I agree with your comments on Adam and taking pics with fans - he would and should do it.

But that wasn’t my point at all.

I wondered why so many young gay men feel the need to behave in a way which to me is unworthy of them. 

it seems to be a victory where they lose more than they win and will probably continue to marginalise them. (IMHO)

I guess i did misinterpret your comment. Sorry about that. I agree that there seems to be a need for some gay guys to be "over the top" when the situation doesn't really call for it. Maybe it's just a part of the subculture they are often a part of, having an identity that is accepted in that particular group but not so much outside of it. Maybe it's an outlet. I don't know. Adam is somewhat of a chameleon. He can change his demeanor when the circumstances call for it. I think it's a skill that lots of gay people find necessary when they're outside their group.  There's a certain freedom to being within your own group. I like your question, though. I think it's an important one. 

Thanks for replying. 

This is another late response that you may or may not see, but what you said was interesting and I needed to think about it for a while.

I may be totally off base, but it would not surprise me if Adam's personal sensibilities, when in a safe environment with his "tribe," are more like these flamboyant young gay men than the more dignified gay people to whom you referred.  He knows enough not to act like that in every situation, obviously, but the Adam we see is just one facet of him.  I remember him saying the version of himself we saw on Idol was not fake, but it was him putting his best - presumably "most digestible to the general public" - face forward.  But I bet he sees a lot of himself in these young men, especially the person he was when he was their age.  This is the guy who performed in Australia with a big codpiece and leather harness, because it was an event for his community, and he felt he could.  He wouldn't do it when promoting his music on a television show, but when he could - he did.  He didn't bat an eye about dressing in drag.  To this day, he thinks nothing of caking on heavy makeup for performances.

A lot of these photos are being taken in gay clubs.  We don't see how these young man behave in different environments, but I'm assuming it is not the same way they behave in a club.  They may be "effeminate," but they're probably not grabbing their crotches or sticking out their tongues at work, or out shopping, or visiting Grandma (although I guess it depends on the Grandma!).  There's a lot of code-switching in the gay community, just as there is in the Black community.  Adam is gifted at it.  But we don't necessarily see what's "Underneath."