Deleted
Posts: 0
Location:
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2012 14:55:13 GMT -5
There was a great post by kay this morning on the main thread about watching Adam live out his dreams. That's all I really care about. I don't care about record sales and world domination. I'd be happy and thrilled for Adam, of course, but I don't need it for myself. Hardly any of the artists I like sell huge numbers of records or get played on the radio, and they seem to do all right for themselves.
For example, I love kd lang, and her newest album peaked at #32 on Billboard. I saw her in concert for the first time a few months ago and she was freaking amazing. I don't think it's a coincidence that Adam signed with the same management company.
When he signed, people focused on Katy Perry, also a DMG client, but I wonder if the longevity and success of kd lang in this old world might not be a model Adam was looking to. I sure would love it if they sang together one day.
|
|
mika
Member
Posts: 542
Location:
|
Post by mika on Jun 7, 2012 0:18:56 GMT -5
Ah, I wish I were in London. I don't care if it's a touristy thing to do - I love going to Covent Garden really early when the vendors have just started to set up. Or to the flower market. And then have tea and people watch when the crowds arrive. ***** My meditation teacher gave me the book 'Quiet' this week as part of our ongoing dialogue about how not respecting my introvert nature is stupid as well as harmful. (Ok it was in a zen way but that was the thrust.) So I'm reading it - very interesting. And it got me wondering again about the limits of language and arbitrary social standards. Adam and gender-bending? Hmm, I think there's less gender bending going on than simple creative non-conformity. Indeed, it's ironic that alleged gender-bending is often more organic than those forms of dress/expression that exist largely only to conform to society's (shifting) dictates on gender roles. There's nothing inherently feminine/masculine in many of these things termed gender bending. Reading about those sweet gender creative children, it struck me that it's too bad the only label we can find for them implies some issue w/gender. Wearing sparkly hair clips, playing with dolls, wearing tutus, skirts - liking 'girl things'. Well, I know non gender creative girls who would wrinkle their little noses at all that stuff. I wonder if the extreme 'girly girl' isn't closer on the expression spectrum to the gender creative boy than to another girl who is more neutral in how she expresses herself? I've always been interested in language and remember one study (cited in support of inclusive language) that showed when children were asked to draw snowmen, they drew the traditional dude w/small variations - but when asked to draw snowpeople - they drew a lot of people - varying in gender, age, possibly snow species . I am reminded of the novel 'The Left Hand of Darkness' by Ursula K. Le Guin. What am I babbling on about? I guess it's that while we're making progress, we still - even in best cases - have to ~explain our differences, justify them. I have to be urged to explain to non-friends that I need certain things and do some things a certain way because I'm an extreme introvert. (And that's its not a disability but comes w/its own strengths) Adam has to explain (repeatedly) what his sexuality does and doesn't mean to him, what he thinks he therefore owes to society - and that it doesn't by definition mean he wears pumps : . And moms have to give their kids a label because others assume an explanation is due them when a small boy wears a tutu and sparkly things. Hmm, I don't have an ending and I think I was dull again. Would you like some tea? A lovely oolong?
|
|
mirages
Member
Posts: 324
Location:
|
Post by mirages on Jun 7, 2012 1:36:30 GMT -5
Mika, you can't be dull again because you've never been dull before. You are one of the most persistently interesting people I've encountered, and learning that you sit Zen and are an extreme introvert only adds interest. Following the breath, mindfulness ... It's almost as good as being underwater. Since breathing, underwater, freely, or not, has been a topic I can't get the image of Adam blowing out those birthday candles in Europe out of my head ... He did it so damn perfectly, in a measured, lovely, even and restrained way ... No doubt had he chosen to he could have blown The candles and icing right off the cake. Do you think he was hoping someone in the room would notice? He seemed quite matter of fact about it, though deliberate. I wonder if he did breath exercises like this as part of hos training ...with his breath control and that third lung, he'd be a great snorkeler and breath-hold diver ... Though I think these days he's juiced himself so skinny he'd swim right out of those aqua board shorts ...
I don't think he gender-bends deliberately much of the time (FYE cover notwithstanding), but he allows himself access to ways of expressing himself in both appearance and behavior that blur the lines, and I like that enormously for some reason. In this era, actually, although he is indeed movie star handsome, I am missing his Liza Minelli-esque moments ... I do miss emo hair. Still, nothing looks better on him than health and happiness, and he's glowing with those.
I need to read Quiet and LeGuin ... I've heard very good things about both. Are you familiar with Elaine Aaron and her Highly Sensitive Person theory? It gives some dignity to living as the Princess and the Pea.
I enjoyed your way of experiencing London ... Are you going next month?
|
|
mika
Member
Posts: 542
Location:
|
Post by mika on Jun 7, 2012 2:22:28 GMT -5
... I can't get the image of Adam blowing out those birthday candles in Europe out of my head ... He did it so damn perfectly, in a measured, lovely, even and restrained way ... I struggle w/my sitting - been struggling off/on for yrs Let's hope beginner's mind is really a good thing~ You know, I hadn't really noticed the precision and mastery of the candle blowing out until Jamie pointed it out. I lack the keen eye. But it is remarkable and a great glimpse of disciplined perfectionist Adam. After a recent Earth meditation, I thought of how beautiful Adam's posture is - he doesn't just stand straight - shoulders are down but not tight, chest open and, for a high energy person esp, tends to center and focus physically. (I know former dancers w/great posture but they also retain a certain rigidity.) I think both the breathing and the centering must serve him well in keeping his equanimity and projecting authority when things around are crazy. I miss emo hair too, but I cannot help but believe he'll get bored and we'll see some version of down hair again. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying his adventures in animal prints . Probably/maybe going to London - I have friends I want to visit and it could all work out, but if I don't buy airline tickets... well... ETA: I did read the HSP books. They are good-I think there was one for parenting HSP kids I liked esp.
|
|
Alison
Member
Posts: 562
Location:
|
Post by Alison on Jun 7, 2012 5:40:18 GMT -5
Mirages, I love your contributions! Mika, you can never be dull. If I don't have time to read the thread, I often search your name (and a few others) to find any posts of yours that I might have missed. I don't have much time to post and will be out of town all weekend, but thought that my fellow introverts would enjoy this TED Talk. I really relate to her. www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts.htmlETA: I didn't realize that this was the author of the book Mika has been reading. I watched this months ago and really felt some reassurance about my introverted nature. I grew up in a family that shared quiet 'animal warmth' too, but the family I have created is vibrant and often loud. I find myself often needing to retreat and find my quiet strength, but my husband and kids also challenge me to get out of my comfort zone (I really need a push sometimes). Opposites definitely attract in my case.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Location:
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2012 9:46:34 GMT -5
Wow, so much to think about today! I love you guys! re: gender-bending. mika, your thoughts about creative non-conformity were so true. Why do we have to label people and force them into boxes? I remember when I was a kid -- talking preschool here -- my sister and I used to like to cross-dress our Barbies. It wasn't unusual for Barbie to don Ken's letter sweater and khakis and take Midge to the dance, or vice versa, and it wasn't unusual for Ken to wear Barbie's pink, frilly ball gown. He looked awesome in it. I still remember one of the neighbor ladies coming over to see my mom, seeing all this, and totally freaking out. I realize now how lucky I was, because my mom just laughed it off and didn't seem the least bit worried or ashamed or to feel the need to "account for herself" or us. She just thought the woman was a jackass, and she never told us to quit playing what we enjoyed. She never told us that we had to "play" Wonder Woman if we wanted to be Batman, or Uhura if we wanted to be Spock; and she never told us that it wasn't OK for that Captain Kirk action figure to wear a Betsy McCall dress or that he was any less the commander of the Enterprise for doing so. Hmmm ... I think I was destined to be an Adam fan. mirages, I read with interest your comments on Adam's breathing. It would be really interesting to know about his breath exercises. I have read that Frank Sinatra built up his extraordinary breath control by swimming laps underwater, thinking of the song lyrics as he swam. This is partially how he achieved the flowing, unbroken quality that made him such a master. Want very much to comment on the introvert discussion -- back later. Anyone else who reads this, jump on in ... to the Dark Side ... where whales swim up the Thames to sing Adam a lullaby ... Write me as soon as able sings Sinatra O Lord burn me out of existence. – Allen Ginsberg, “Laughing Gas”
|
|
mika
Member
Posts: 542
Location:
|
Post by mika on Jun 7, 2012 19:00:06 GMT -5
Perhaps we shall have tea and stronger stuff in the evening to celebrate a particularly great day for Adam? "They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon..."
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Location:
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2012 23:29:09 GMT -5
|
|
mirages
Member
Posts: 324
Location:
|
Post by mirages on Jun 8, 2012 0:33:07 GMT -5
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Location:
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 10:05:39 GMT -5
[nobody in the place except me and Dark Adam] [ETA and melliemom!!!] [baby, make the music easy and sad] Great discussion about introversion that I had thoughts about as well. Alison, a few weeks ago I saw that great TED video with the talk by Susan Cain. I didn't know there was a book, Mika, and I have put it on my list. It tied in with an excellent blog I found not long ago called "10 Myths About Introverts": www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introvertsOne thing that really resonated on this list when reviewing it just now is its correlation with this thread, the so-called Dark Side, especially in light of Susan Cain's talk about the stigmatization of introverts. Here's a few interesting snippets: They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” 10 pages about whether we like Adam's pants = torture for an introvert. For an extrovert it's that little hit of dopamine that keeps on givin'. ... They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. [See: attempts to transform this temporary little thread into a home and longing for others to visit it and see how cool it is.] ... Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. ...
It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in order to get along in an Extrovert-Dominant World. Like other minorities, Introverts can end up hating themselves and others because of the differences. I have sometimes thought that introversion was not unlike being gay. Society often demands that you "pass" and you can learn to do so with a greater or lesser degree of effectiveness, but you haven't changed on the inside. I feel fortunate that I grew up in a family of introverts and was not made to feel weird about it growing up. It was certainly a social handicap in school, but the teachers loved me, so that kind of made up for it. And, I ended up going into a career that has a very high relative percentage of introverts. So, I guess I don't feel as negatively affected by bias against introverts as I might be. I'm certainly not the least socially acceptable member of my peer group. It is interesting to think about larger societal consequences, though -- that we are handicapping ourselves as a society by stigmatizing introverts. Because introverts aren't valued and are often ignored, blowhards have gained control of more and more institutions, with snowballing consequences. New topicI know I'm just totally dreaming, now, but I wish there was a culture (here, or anywhere) that was not oppositional. Instead of a dark side and a light side, what if there was another protocol. Suppose that when someone posted, that instead of negating it, belittling it, or disagreeing with it, you just accepted it, and then added to it. I learned about this idea in, of all place, a blog about improv comedy. Let me know what you think: The Yes, And Approach: Less Ego, More Openness, More Possibility the99percent.com/tips/7183/The-Yes-And-Approach-Less-Ego-More-Openness-More-Possibility
|
|