mirages
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Post by mirages on Jun 5, 2012 9:24:08 GMT -5
Oh dear, I'm sorry -- have I just messed up the board for everybody? Have to go to work now, too ... I tried just using the "quick reply" box at the bottom and this happened. Trying one more ... Yeah, that seems to be the problem. I can't see anything in the coding that would push it over like that -- trying now to quote myself and see if that'll get the page looking right again.
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mirages
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Post by mirages on Jun 5, 2012 9:26:24 GMT -5
I have always said Adam is going to take an unorthodox, new, never-trodden path to success. Now I am having to put my trust, belief, love where my rational mind has already gone. DIE RADIO DIE seems like a good place to start. Actually, I stopped listening years ago. I had thought about getting satellite radio and I really want to thank you, mika. You just saved me a whole lot of money. Here is a real sign I saw in Montana: We made it just the same, and came out in a beautiful spot. Ooh, I love that sign, and the spirit in which it's offered. Does anyone else remember an old tv show starring John Laroquette, I think, where he had bottomed out as the manager of a bus station and he had a sign in his dumpy office torn off an amusement park, reading. "This is a dark ride." Indeed. So here's to the dark ride, the mystery tour, the rough break and the hope of a road less travelled but leading somewhere very good for Adam, whatever that means for him. And for each of us. One of the things I've loved best about him is his urging fans to "do what YOU do," to figure out what it is that we have to give the world, and just damn DO it. Still waiting to have all the courage it takes to do that myself, or maybe more the clarity -- usually when clarity is present, courage is not an issue. But, I digress ... ... and maybe digressions (and transgressions?) (trespasses) are what draws us to the dark side (by the way, love the decor ... as a child, always wanted to have what I called in my head an "oom room" furnished entirely in huge squishy pillows). I think we need more indigo, though -- may I add some big squishy indigo pillows? With tassels you can let fall through your fingers like silken rain? Ah, yes, I was trying to get to digressions when I digressed to tassels. Ever since Adam started talking about the dark and light sides, and especially since the BTKIM video, I've been thinking about all of this in the terms Neitzsche set out in his re-examination of Aristotle's assessment of the role of the arts (quick summary: catharsis) ... In "The Birth of Tragedy from the Spirit of Music," N takes a look at what he sees as the ideal society aspires to, the Appollonian world of light, order, reason. Everything is measured, structured, orderly, the classical Greek ideal of civilization creating Cosmos from Chaos. There is art, but it is also orderly -- it's Bach, not Beethoven (or Wagner, which is where Neitzsche really wants to go). But, he argues, ti is also somehow bloodless, lifeless. It's missing something. The other force he calls upon, the dark force, is Dionysius -- pure, primal life force, intuitive, creative, messy, completely uninterested in reason. It's ecstatic, and it's dangerous, but man, is it ALIVE. When I heard Adam talking about Dark and Light Adam, and how Light Adam, as reasonable and attractive as he seemed, was missing something and that it was Dark Adam who had the strength, those undeniable primal life-force urges that Light Adam needed, it all kinda clicked. I've seen Adam as a shaman or a sort of Dionysian priest leading devotees into ecstasies ever since WLL at Fantasy Springs. And then Brian May said this about Freddie: that as a man, Freddie was fairly shy, really, but that when he stepped onto stage, "he could become the god." And bingo, there it all was! Okay, have I zipped right past "dark" and gone right off the deep end? Mika, I love mer-people, too. My favorite dream ever, which became a favorite poem had me underwater, running out of air and then suddenly, miraculously able to breathe the water ... better than flying any day, in my book. it must be even more so for you, that promise of breathing freely anywhere. Juniemoon, love your writing, always have, just never said so (I don't post much, seem always to be way behind and also to have the power of Killer of Threads -- hope I don't do this one in!). Alison, you may be right that we should just move this to the salon. A slower, deeper, messier sort of conversational place to digress and trespass without worrying about being OT? Jamie, always love your posts, too. And CraazyforAdam, you've made some really good ones here and on the main thread. Lynne, you killed it right off the top (in a very good way). Forgive me for not naming everyone who has posted here ... I've read every one. And I know it got messy for a little while, but that's okay, too -- that's how every eruption of life and passion are at the beginning, before we start making them orderly (Okay, I have another theory that there's an opposing force to entropy in the world, but one that's no less a problem -- the tendency of people to squelch ecstatic outbursts of spirit with rules and regulations ... it's nobody's fault and is in fact unavoidable for people in groups, but well, something's lost but something's gained, I guess). Oh, and has anyone here read Koestler's "Darkness at Noon"? Gosh, that's a lot of random stuff to throw at a single post -- guess I'm just trying to see if any of this stuff is of interest to anybody out there. Now requiting Mika's and juniemoon's message above (because they always merit re-quoting) and to see if that fixes the problem. ETA: Phew! Okay, at least we seem to be back to what passes for normal on this page. I hated the thought of all that Moroccan furniture, pillows and candles being squished into a column on the side -- definite fire hazard!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2012 9:37:35 GMT -5
Any day that starts off with the words Nietzsche and Appollonian and Trotskyish is a good day. And to think I'd sworn off "ish" forever! mika, a few years back I became maddened by advertising and quit listening to commercial radio. I am very fortunate in that Austin has one of the best commercial-free classical stations in the country. That is what I listen to in the car except during pledge drive. I guess I don't like being "sold." mirages ... have we met? HI! I remember that old Laroquette show. What a strange and quirky little show that was; it didn't appear to be focused-grouped at all. Could that still happen? I don't remember it being a favorite at the time, but funny how it sticks my mind more than many other shows of years gone by. I loved reading your thoughts. I read a quote not long ago that reminded me so much of Adam: Many of my favorite shamans are rock stars. They probably don’t even know they’re shamans, but they know how to get to ecstasy and back and how to take others with them. They may not have a license, but they know how to drive. – Gabrielle Roth, author of Maps to Ecstasy: Teachings of an Urban ShamanRoth says not just anybody can help us reach this electric state where we start to build a bridge between reality and our dreams. A shaman, she says, needs “an androgynous, edge-walker kind of consciousness, which doesn’t belong in a patriarchy or a matriarchy.” Another passage is worth a longer quote because it sounds so much like Adam: Shamans are really technicians of ecstasy. They move between worlds. As for how you become a shaman, either you are one or you aren’t. Either you can go into ecstatic states and take others with you, or you can’t. … Many of the shamans of our time, like Patti Smith, have gone into rock and roll, followed the beat, becoming dancer, singer, actor, poet, healer, all in one breath. It seems to me that Adam is passion embodied, the very picture of the life force! Is it any wonder that so many of us use words like "reconnecting" again with our own natures? OMG, thanks for that tip about 'The Sleepwalkers'! That sounds like the kind of book I would love, and I never heard of it before. I've put it on my Amazon list! ETA: Your squished thoughts about Runnin, along with what Jamie said, have made me think my initial take was too simplistic. Off to listen some more. ;D
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mika
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Post by mika on Jun 5, 2012 13:07:52 GMT -5
Jamie, you brought up Runnin' the other day, and I also was struck by it and by Adam's comment that it was a very personal song ... to realize that all that time he spent running after sensation and experience, seemingly running toward a vision of himself, he'd actually been running away from himself. And yet, the hopeful (I find it hopeful -- you could see it the other way) statement that, "I've been standing here my whole life, everything I've seen twice ..." -- that even though part of him has been paddling as fast as it can away from himself, his true self/heart, another part has always been standing right there, quietly, not running but standing, watching the universe send the lessons again and again, waiting till he decides to wake up and really live. Unless it's very obvious - like Fiona Apple actually naming her songs after ex-boyfriends - or they tell me, I usually have no idea how autobiographical specific songs are for the artists. But I think 'Runnin' relates a not uncommon life experience - reaching that point - esp in your twenties - where it's just not fun anymore. It's not joyful and exciting. All the magic is gone - you've stayed too long at the circus and it's lost its lustre. But it can be so hard to see what comes next. Especially if you have had the experience of finally finding love and building the life you wanted - and now that love is gone and the dream job seems like a dead end. Easy to chase sensation trying to get the joy back. I don't agree with people (not you guys) who interpret lyrics and other things Adam says to arrive at the conclusion that his club kid days were lost time, an ill-advised detour. (And Adam may totally recant his youth and I'll be wrong and that's fine .) Being a happy (if often hungover) young person and engaging in a little experimentation is different than taking the dark hallway and twisting these things to obliterate and hurt yourself just to feel something or get out of your own head. And Adam mentioned early on that he'd gone down some of those hallways during a relatively brief pre-Idol depressive phase of too much coke (which is the worst kind of crashing) and a lot of *cough* dating. In his quick bites about the songs, Adam said this about Runnin' "When I don't follow my heart, i get dark. vicious cycle that only I can pull myself out of. We all have the power to affect change." He saves himself exceptionally well - esp for an artist, given that too many think there's some romance or artistic credibility to be gained in hitting bottom. I think his parents helped nurture that tough, pragmatic, disciplined streak in their strong willed dreamer. (There can't be enough yays for Leila and Eber.) Whether picking himself up and saying okay, I'll beg for my Wicked job back or I'll join a band or I'll go on Idol or to NYC but I won't give up and join the Hollywood ranks of those who never made it and never moved on. Even the post-GNT crash (which I don't think got that bad but it's hard coming off intense experiences back to a world you no longer quite fit into). He gave himself a few weeks of drama then it was "shake it off and get back to work; wow, these songs are not what I want my album to be; yes, I'll start over even if it means delaying the release; and by the way, I won't let distance and work be obstacles to pursuing love." What I'm trying to say, is that I don't believe Adam regrets his rather colorful days - it wasn't a sad place he's escaped to arrive at domestic bliss. It was a critical and joyous phase in his development - it gave him his tribe and allowed his curious, creative, hedonistic self to explore and move on. To be ready for this phase and mature enough to value and appreciate it. I think it's been exciting to see him go from his obvious apprehension about turning 30 to realizing he could change it all up again and be even happier. The person you need to be at 25 isn't the person you should be at 30 or 35 - or something's gone wrong . (And yes, waking up in the drunk tank probably really helps drive that message home ) And I think mirages is right - the true self is always waiting for us to listen, to get it right. Our inability or refusal to listen to what our true heart/soul is telling us - esp when it contradicts what society or even our loved ones tell us - leads to so much pain and despair. And, sadly, I think many, many people (sober, monogamous people even) are in this situation. One can try to drown out the unhappiness of the heart in many ways. Runnin' "I'll wake up now and live... a life that's always been a dream." If you flip the famous Rilke quote below to make it about the internal dragons that we fight, I find it resonant. "Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are [princes] who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
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Post by smokeyvera on Jun 5, 2012 13:24:06 GMT -5
Oh Mika, so fucking eloquent. I love you. You can always express what I am thinking, but with my ADD, I cannot focus enough to put it all together. You guys are so flipping smart !!!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2012 15:56:03 GMT -5
smokey, I always love your posts. I read your post on the Numbers thread this morning. Like you, I wonder at the marketing of Adam to teens. I'm just not seeing how it will work.
mika, wow, your post about Runnin was amazing. I really loved your insights into Adam's life and where he is right now. To me Adam seems more settled than ever within himself, even though his circumstances are tumultuous. He seems to know what he's doing, with himself and with his time. He seems excited about each day and the constant change.
As you noted and Adam has said -- he has a home, work that he loves, sane good-hearted badass people for friends, and a sweet humane lover. I think he can step back from the need for drama a little, that he is learning and growing into his own dreams, fears, and potential.
I have always thought Adam was mentally tough enough to make it no matter what. He seems able to roll with the good and bad, change and stasis, receding and unfolding. He seems able to throw a pity party for himself, then take out the trash and turn his focus to "OK, what's next?"
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lynne
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Post by lynne on Jun 5, 2012 18:40:38 GMT -5
Loved your post, mika!
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mika
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Post by mika on Jun 5, 2012 18:44:34 GMT -5
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mirages
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Post by mirages on Jun 6, 2012 0:04:13 GMT -5
Yesssssss with as many satisfied sibilants as possible. Yes, that's just what I had in mind (such a nice turnaround from that terrible phrase in Prufrock where she says, "That is not it at all. That is not what I meant at all." I have (ahem) a theory which is mine, which is all about chiming and clunking, and how we always toss our thoughts out there hoping that they will chime with other like-minded people, and yet howmany times no, they don't, they clunk instead and fall leaden and lifeless at our feet. Thank you for chiming.) AAnd I agree, too, that I don't think Adam regrets his explorations of excess, his times of RRunnin', and heaven knows we go in and out of those times. Runnin' is my favorite song onthe album now; it hit me as kind of too-easy the first time I heard it, until I really noticed that part about him realizing he'd also, at the same time he'd been running off in all directions, also been standing there waiting, watching. Here's a heresy: I don't always think Adam's lyrics are all that deep, but i was happy to find the depth in this one, and maybe it's been my own lack of discernment that's been the problem with others, too. It is interesting, though, that he's choosing this level of self-disclosure as a pop artist, which is usually such a creature of image and illusion. Gaga takes it to the other extreme, of course, and he's made that point, too, that he's made a conscious decision not to be that artist. It's interesting, but I think it's part of what makes him harder to market, especially to kids.
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mirages
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Post by mirages on Jun 6, 2012 0:21:26 GMT -5
Juniemoon, HI! No, we haven't "met" til now, though I've read and enjoyed many of your thoughtful and well-written posts. Thanks for enjoying some of my early-morning words ... they were tossed out there with some trepidation as I often feel like a great clumsy pompous presumptuous thing when I post. But there is something very compelling about Adam that ties into many of the things that fascinate me ... his gender fluidity and the ease with which he moves from male to female power and energy and image is one, and his amazing command of both Appollonian an dDionysian energies is another. I remember the quotes you just brought back above, and thank you because I enjoyed them again ... I think the dualistic, good vs evil way of thinking that characterizes western thought has made it hard for us to understand Dark and Light in complementary terms, in the way Adam seems to use them. I am completely in awe of the force of the Dionysian energy he channels and yet how very seldom he lets it run wild (at least publicly) -- the AMA performance might be one case where it got the better of him, and I remember him saying after that performance that it felt like an out-of-body experience. But he's worked really, really hard at his technique which does contain it -- the technique is the architecture, very beautiful architecture, and the Dionysian stuff is the life that inhabits it and keeps it from being only pretty. This, in a way, is what Marc Martel is missing, I think -- Freddie certainly had the Dionysian thing going on, too, but Marc doesn't and no matter how well he sings the songs, we don't feel them. He doesn't experience the ecstasy and bring others with him -- you either have that or you do't, as your quote says.
Hope you like "Sleepwalkers" -- I loved it -- great ideas, fascinating times and people,a nd Koestler's a great writer. I hadn't known much about Keppler before I read it, but he was quite the character, a little loony but truly and intuitively brilliant, too.
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