My prediction, free-style :D
*Written for Juniemoon specially, as a THANK YOU for her PTL post.
Tropical Jam
Slow, uneventful days were Adam’s favourite, ever since he came back from his space tour. Yes, he was terribly honoured that he was the first singer ever to get an invitation to sing on Xanadu, but there was a limited luggage policy and, hello, peeing in your astro suit? – suffice it to say he was ecstatic he got back to his own galaxy.
Three unhesitant and loud knocks on the door snapped him out from his daydreaming. He looked at Sauli through the sauna’s window, who was pruning there for the last thirty minutes, like he would know who the unexpected visitor could be. The building had a security system that would put Pentagon to shame, so he stopped freaking out and opened the door.
It was David Bowie. That is, the guy looked like David, but the insanity of it made Adam do a quick mental scan of possible reasons why he would be hallucinating right now. Nope, nothing there. David smiled, not taking offense at Adam’s bulging eyes nor the obvious lack of etiquette.
“May I come in?” David asked.
Adam swallowed hard, thinking that maybe, just maybe he picked up some crazy virus while cruising the space or Sauli decided to go all 'naturalle' on him and fed him some funny grass he picked on his jogging tours through Hollywood hills that made Adam’s brain short-circuit. But, his good manners prevailed, he finally moved and gestured to his condo:
“Please.”
He waited until David was settled comfortably on the sofa and asked the obvious, just in case:
“Are you David Bowie?”
“Yes." Bowie smiled good-naturedly. "Adam, although I am very happy to have finally met you, this is not a social visit. It’s more of a … business proposition. Allow me to explain myself.”
David cleared his throat and put his hands on his knees. “But before that, do you mind making me some hot chocolate, I am craving after it ever since I left New York. Please.”
“Of course”, Adam started squirming, since he had absolutely no idea how to make one. Luckily, at that point, Sauli chose to get out of the sauna, all hot and wet and dressed in a little white towel.
“Sauli, this is David. David, Sauli.” Adam rushed through the introduction.
David appreciatively smirked and nodded at the Finn.
Adam started wiggling his eyebrows and oddly scrunching his nose, trying to send a silent memo to his boyfriend to not freak out like him. They needed at least one clear head in the house. In return, Sauli had the coolest poker face thing going on. Adam tried not to be mortally offended at that.
“Sauli, baby, could you please make us some hot chocolate?”
When all three of them sat down with steaming cups of the most delicious hot chocolate: cinnamon, pepper, vanilla and a little shot of rum in it, just to spice things up, David continued.
“You know Madonna? Of course you do. Well. She bought this island in the Samoan archipelago and she wants us to go jam there with her. When I say jam, I mean live there all the time, with her. That’s her idea of a well-planned retirement. The woman’s bloody brilliant, let me tell you!" David's brain trailed off for a second in happy memories, smiling sappily. "And when I say we, I mean you, me, Brian May, Ringo on the drums, and Ashton Kutcher. Don’t ask about Kutcher, please, I think she wants him to be like our roadie or something”, he barked out a laugh.
When Adam and Sauli continued to stare at him like he was some yet undetected kind of alien and remained silent at that, David continued:
“What do you say? Of course, you will get a house, a chopper, a helicopter, a car, and I think she mentioned a mil a month salary. Before you say anything else, know that everyone has agreed, including me.”
Adam looked at Sauli who seemed thoroughly amused and suspiciously unsurprised by all this, and asked:
“But what about my boyfriend? My career? My fans would go crazy if I stopped making music. And we thought about getting a dog…”
“Sauli would come with you, of course. But you would have to get married first, you know how she feels about living in sin,” David rolled his eyes.
“Oh, we’re already married,” Adam couldn’t hide his pride. “It’s a secret, you know. We didn’t want to attract wrong kind of attention.”
David seemed thrilled: ”Boys, boys, how marvelous! Congratulations!” He clapped his hands like a child. “And, Adam, as far as your career goes: trust me, you don’t need that shit. You’ve done enough; six fantastic albums, the awards, the tours, the radio, you’ve seen it all, won it all, had it all… Your fans can live off of that for a decade. Plus, they love you too much to question any choice of yours. And when Madonna kicks the bucket, pardon my French, you will still have time for some action on your own. Let that Bieber kid regain some of his popularity, he's cute...”
Adam sighed. The excitement of performing and keeping his fans entertained did start to wear off a bit. His traitorous brain started providing him with images of lazy, sun-kissed days, slow jams by the ocean with his idols... “Why did you accept?” Adam asked.
David looked at him like he had rabies or something. “Are you insane? Jamming with Madonna, you, Brian and Ringo, on a tropical island, while Ashton keeps filling us up with margaritas and fanning our sweaty butts and, but don’t tell her I told you, I think there will be some tantric sex thing involved. The lady has plans, trust me.”
Sauli stood up. “I’m going to pack our stuff now, baby.”
“You knew about this, didn’t you?” Adam gaped at his husband in shock.
Sauli smiled: ”We’ll talk about it later, but yeah. She told me first and, you won’t believe it, while we were hanging upside down from the aerial silks. She’s such a hoot, my bestie...”
“Oh”, Adam made a firm note to himself to go all third degree on Sauli's ass for this. He turned to David again. “But why me?”
Bowie snickered. “Apparently, your voice does something to her. It’s that tantric sex thing I already mentioned… It seems that your singing opens all the right chakras… or something.”
David leaned back and took another sip of his hot chocolate. “C’mon, Adam, you wouldn’t say no to me, would you?” He winked at Adam with his blue eye.
Adam finally flashed that thousand megawatt smile of his and said: “No, David, I wouldn’t” and jumped after Sauli to make sure he packed his aqua board shorts. They were his favourite, after all.
