4.1.13 Adam heads in a new direction for next album

Being the nerd he is, Adam was meticulously preparing for his Best Bib and Tucker, Dazzle Your Skedaddle country era. He googled his plow off, but he needed more. It was time he spruced his country act up for real. But who to ask for help? He knew no country people, they all seemed allergic to him by default. He had no idea why though. It must have been his perfume, Adam thought. And then, out of the blue, he thought of his old friend, Wandy. Oh yeah, Wandy loved his ROF performance on AI, Adam felt like they really gelled. Wandy loved it so much, that he apologized for weeks after for not expressing his adoration more convincingly -he was afraid the dudes from Grand Ole might neuter him. Or Mrs Shravis. 

Adam found him living on a deserted ranch just outside Intercourse, Pennsylvania, with two goats, a pony and a parrot to keep him company. The bird only knew three words: fabulous, glittery and glamgod; but you couldn't hear Wandy complain since even that was better than dead silence. He agreed to teach Adam basic cowboy skills, like roping and bareback riding, but on his own terms: Adam was to keep quiet and wear no shiny or glittery stuff - his oversensitive nervous system could not stand any high sounds or objects reflecting light, all that the horrible side effects of two consecutive nervous breakdowns.

The first day went nicely, with Adam getting friendly with the pony. True, the animal was too small for him, his gangly legs often dragging in the dust, but Adam was afraid of heights anyways. It all ended pretty abruptly, with the horsey throwing him off into the muddy pool, because Adam's skull ring which he brought along for sentimental reasons but safely hidden in his back pocket, kept stabbing the animal. Wandy went berserk and called it a night. The sleepy time turned out even worse - when the parrot saw Adam, he started screeching: Fabulous! Glittery! Glamgod! and wouldn't stop all night long, although Wandy repeatedly threatened to shoot it. Somehow Adam managed to fall asleep, exhausted from all the riding and roping, feeling guilty and lonely. In the morning, he found Wandy behind the haystack, curled up in a fetal position, sobbing and muttering something to his chin, unresponsive to his gentle ministrations.

Adam decided it was time to go. Afraid to leave Wandy all alone, he left him a little CD player and put his favourite relaxation CD on, The Rise and Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars, hoping that would soothe poor Wandy. Adam cast the last look on the man; he seemed better, twisting the hay into neat little braids. When the parrot jumped onto Adam's shoulder, he just sighed, deciding it was safer for the bird to go with him. It kept whispering into his ear the three words it knew and Adam started feeling like he was missing out on something. Who was that fabulous glittery glamgod? The ride back to Hollywood was long - maybe he would figure it out by the end of it.