QueeenAl
Member
Fell so hard for this man, will never get up.
Posts: 2,179
Location:
|
Post by QueeenAl on Apr 5, 2013 19:21:53 GMT -5
Noone has commented on Sauli Central yet? Girls get moving! That is a great part of Atopia and veeeeeerrrry much affected by the news today. Go and give some hugs to Saulicentral  |
|
stella
Member
Posts: 617
Location:
|
Post by stella on Apr 5, 2013 19:23:38 GMT -5
I am with you. I feel bad for the way Adam handled things. He (and yes I am talking about him, as I have no doubt who was the leader in their relationship) should have announced the split sooner OR he shouldn't have behaved like a single guy (and that behavior started already in the autumn and went on in New York in January and on the recent tour) while supposedly in a relationship. That was disrespectful to Sauli, even if he had got Sauli's approval, as fandom couldn't know of any possible approval. Adam's behavior caused anxiety in the fandom, and the anxiety grew when the boys were not seen much together before the longish tour and then again after the tour. Adam must have seen that anxiety on Twitter but didn't do anything to it (e.g. didn't restrict his partying until the time of announcement), only blocked those (or the one with many Twitter accounts) who expressed their (her/his) stress most blatantly. Adam put his own needs and his business before the well-being of his fandom (and perhaps even before Sauli). And today he says he loves all. No celebrity, including Adam, owes their "fandom" answers about their personal lives. When Adam and Sauli made the decision to end their relationship and how they decided to handle that decision is their business and no one else, regardless of how invested some people might feel in that relationship. I don't think Adam causes anxiety in the fandom, people too invested in the relationship of Adam and his boyfriend cause their own anxiety by projecting their hopes, dreams, fears and all manner of feeling and insecurity onto Adam. As for Twitter, well I think Adam is entitled to block anyone he chooses and I think the ones he ultimately blocked were being obnoxious and rude. Adam SHOULD put his own needs and well-being before his fandom. At the end of the day Adam can only control his own happiness and it's up to each fan to do the same for themselves and Adam's state of relationship should have no bearing on that happiness. All of this is just my opinion and not meant to antagonize anyone who might feel differently. I agree with this and Albiku's post. |
|
|
|
Post by revlisacat on Apr 5, 2013 19:26:24 GMT -5
[pulls an overstuffed beanbag chair out of the carpetbag]
[curls up while mulling tequila glass]
Ya know? I think the reason this breakup hurts (at least me) more than the others is that Adam and Sauli seemed very matched in so many long-term ways.
Cheeks? C'mon. First they were very young, and I seem to recall that Cheeks was a hard-core partier who perhaps wasn't..erm..totally into the concept of long term monogamous relationships. Fun guy. Helped bring out Adam's inner peacock. Helped him learn to be fearless. But definitely not long-term partner material at that time.
Drake? No. Drake seemed to be a lot more introverted than Adam and was intensely uncomfortable with the paparazzi and lack of privacy that came along with Adam after American Idol. I actually felt sorry for the guy a lot. He just seemed miserable with the glare.
Sauli? Seemed great. Coming from Big Brother, he was used to paps and could laugh off their intrusion. He was comfortable with cameras, but didn't appear jealous that they didn't often focus on him. He has warm and sunny personality, and (lets face it) was beautiful. He has a wonderful loving family that accepted him the way Adam's family accepted Adam, and so there wasn't any issues with familial discomfort. Kind. What wasn't to like?
[snorts] While I was engaged to my husband, there was some panicky moment I was having with someone about "was I doing the right thing" etc. etc. etc. She looked at me while I rattled through a list of worrysome traits, and finally eyerolled and said "Seriously, do you think you would actually find a better fit for you if you threw him back and tried again?"
[takes sip of tequila]
Nobody's perfect. Not Adam. Not Sauli. But sometimes what you got is pretty great. [looking with no real information from the outside] It just seems to be sad that a relationship with such good solid potential has dissolved. Because a person with good compatibility is just not going to come easily to Adam
So yeah, the whole breakup seems sad.
I wasn't going to comment on all this today -- I had an interview and found myself having some difficulty focusing because of a big knot in my stomach. Sad. I agree with Hoppers on this--and who knows, they may need time apart to realize they are better together. Whatever happens, this relationship has been transformative in a good way for both of them. Both really good people. Aaaaaannnndddd now, pour me a big lemon vodka, Hoppers! I'll drink with you! |
|
|
|
Post by nica575 on Apr 5, 2013 19:26:40 GMT -5
I am Adam fan, don't even follow Sauli. However I know Adam will come out of this without any hickups, on the contrary, he will be again interresting in a new way. Even I don't know who left who, Sauli will take all heat both in practical and in publicity means. He is my countryman and I feel bad for him. I did not like Adam annoucing this alone, it should had been a common thing. I don't like how he has been behaving for quite a long time. I have said it before, and say again, "it's not what but how". There will be ugly things ahead, even though fans try to make it look nice and easy. And finally, of course, again, one bit more difficult to believe people conquering obstackles and can make things work. I am with you. I feel bad for the way Adam handled things. He (and yes I am talking about him, as I have no doubt who was the leader in their relationship) should have announced the split sooner OR he shouldn't have behaved like a single guy (and that behavior started already in the autumn and went on in New York in January and on the recent tour) while supposedly in a relationship. That was disrespectful to Sauli, even if he had got Sauli's approval, as fandom couldn't know of any possible approval. Adam's behavior caused anxiety in the fandom, and the anxiety grew when the boys were not seen much together before the longish tour and then again after the tour. Adam must have seen that anxiety on Twitter but didn't do anything to it (e.g. didn't restrict his partying until the time of announcement), only blocked those (or the one with many Twitter accounts) who expressed their (her/his) stress most blatantly. Adam put his own needs and his business before the well-being of his fandom (and perhaps even before Sauli). And today he says he loves all. I was trying to stay away from posting since everyone is mourning the relationship we came to IMAGINE and love, from the outside,based on some pictures and various bits from the interviews. I understand the mourning. I understand the projecting of one's own experience on another one's life. I understand the sadness following the break up of a generally "accepted" paradigm of a successful and loving relationship ... I DO NOT understand the "JUDGEMENT" based on nothing but self appointed righteousness ..based on NO KNOWLEDGE of the REALITY of their relationship, on no knowledge of the REAL people involved, based on NOTHING really... ...and to bring the fandom into this... As a member of the fandom - I am insulted by your assertion that Adam owes me something, or he did any wrong by me. Sorry for the rant. Since everyone here having drinks - LETS HAVE A TOAST FOR THE BRIGHT FUTURE AND MANY LOVES TO COME!  |
|
FanOfTheMan
Member
Love Our Guy!
Posts: 4,205
Location:
|
Post by FanOfTheMan on Apr 5, 2013 19:27:16 GMT -5
Adam is a good and decent man and I believe that Sauli is too. I believe that they agreed jointly on the revealing of their relationships end.
Adam owes us nothing regarding his private life, yet he chose to share this personal information with his fans. He said that he loves us all and I believe that.
I admire him greatly for his dignity in this matter.
Trolls and haters have no place on his twitter or his boards - ever.
He blocked them - GOOD.
I wish only the best and happiest future for Adam and for Sauli and may their friendship deepen and last for a long, long time.
|
|
|
|
Post by HoppersSkippersMiners on Apr 5, 2013 19:28:29 GMT -5
[settles further in beanbag chair]
I'll take my relationship armchair quarterbacking one step further.
Sauli is a fiercely independent man. Throughout often snarky critiques of the apparent inequity of his and Adam's relationship, he has stated numerous times that he makes his own money, and has his own job. Even in car crazy LA, Sauli has firmly decided to walk where he needs to go, and not get bowed by pressure to get a car and drive everywhere because everyone else does. Sauli has made his own friends in a country that he was a stranger to, and forged both business and personal relationship from scratch.
Sauli has his pride.
There was an interview once where Adam was asked what would be save from a burning house, and the answer was Sauli. But, I recall that there was a funny impression there where Adam imitated Sauli saying something like "Put me down, I can do that myself". I could be remembering the piece wrong, but that's sorta what I remember.
Adam has also stated several times that he can be a control freak, and that's something he's needed to work on in relationships.
So, you have Adam who's been HBIC mode throughout the WAG tour coming home to Sauli who's firmly taken up the reins of his own life. Two strong, very strong, personalities. Suddenly.....really having difficulty meshing.
[sighs] Its HARD to yield and compromise. Really really hard. I think if my husband was as stubborn as I am, we wouldn't survive. He's no weakling, mind you, but his somewhat Type B helps smooth out my uber-Type A when I'm being a bonehead ass. That said, there's been some really huge rocks in our marriage that we only survived out of sheer determination not to have to tell our families that we divorced. Particularly during a time when he was so damn frustrated that my career was going well and his wasn't. I get it.
[wryly] The irony is that they may have continued longer as a couple (for a time at least) if Sauli decided to let Adam completely take care of him and ignore his own life. But I can't see Adam respecting that in a long-term partner. Or Sauli letting that happen.
So, you're back to two strong men who maybe COULD work things out, but perhaps only with a lot of pain and difficulty. This occurs at a point where maybe neither has the time energy for the effort due to career desires. Is this relationship being sacrified to careers? Probably. Is that going to bring either of them true happiness? Who knows.
But that's up to Adam and Sauli, not us.
[drinks] |
|
|
|
Post by thelambertluvva on Apr 5, 2013 19:34:19 GMT -5
Not sure if this has already been posted.
|
|
|
|
Post by HoppersSkippersMiners on Apr 5, 2013 19:35:31 GMT -5
I haven't posted this much in a long time. I think I'll place and order with Hoppers. Whisky sour, please. (I'm avoiding working on my income taxes.) Heh heh. Me too.
[grabs a whisky bottle from the carpetbag cellar]
[slides a whisky sour down the table to holst]
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Location:
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 19:39:49 GMT -5
stardust I think that is an astute observation. Sometimes a two career partnership is had for the relationship. But they are both such great people and it was a fairytale romance. Well who knows what the future will bring.
|
|
|
|
Post by nica575 on Apr 5, 2013 19:40:35 GMT -5
[settles further in beanbag chair]
I'll take my relationship armchair quarterbacking one step further.
Sauli is a fiercely independent man. Throughout often snarky critiques of the apparent inequity of his and Adam's relationship, he has stated numerous times that he makes his own money, and has his own job. Even in car crazy LA, Sauli has firmly decided to walk where he needs to go, and not get bowed by pressure to get a car and drive everywhere because everyone else does. Sauli has made his own friends in a country that he was a stranger to, and forged both business and personal relationship from scratch.
Sauli has his pride.
There was an interview once where Adam was asked what would be save from a burning house, and the answer was Sauli. But, I recall that there was a funny impression there where Adam imitated Sauli saying something like "Put me down, I can do that myself". I could be remembering the piece wrong, but that's sorta what I remember.
Adam has also stated several times that he can be a control freak, and that's something he's needed to work on in relationships.
So, you have Adam who's been HBIC mode throughout the WAG tour coming home to Sauli who's firmly taken up the reins of his own life. Two strong, very strong, personalities. Suddenly.....really having difficulty meshing.
[sighs] Its HARD to yield and compromise. Really really hard. I think if my husband was as stubborn as I am, we wouldn't survive. He's no weakling, mind you, but his somewhat Type B helps smooth out my uber-Type A when I'm being a bonehead ass. That said, there's been some really huge rocks in our marriage that we only survived out of sheer determination not to have to tell our families that we divorced. Particularly during a time when he was so damn frustrated that my career was going well and his wasn't. I get it.
[wryly] The irony is that they may have continued longer as a couple (for a time at least) if Sauli decided to let Adam completely take care of him and ignore his own life. But I can't see Adam respecting that in a long-term partner. Or Sauli letting that happen.
So, you're back to two strong men who maybe COULD work things out, but perhaps only with a lot of pain and difficulty. This occurs at a point where maybe neither has the time energy for the effort due to career desires. Is this relationship being sacrified to careers? Probably. Is that going to bring either of them true happiness? Who knows.
But that's up to Adam and Sauli, not us.
[drinks] WE KNOW NOTHING... not of the personalities involved, not of the circumstances involved... |
|
