Hey - I wanna speak for myself, alone - - knowing I am one of more than just a few 'sixty-somethings' here.
We are all amazed. Like kittykay said: "If you told me two years ago I would be anxiously awaiting the next episode of RuPaul's Drag Race I would have laughed in your face."
I bring this up because most of us 'sixty-somethings' have kids - adult children - who have kids, themselves.
I can only speak for me - momtomany - mother of sons, as life would have it. Five.
They certainly wonder. I guess, with reason. I worried because my mother smoked and drank. And here I am, the mother of these boys, at the computer, and on the wall by the desk is a little display (they call it 'shrine') of Adam photos. There's me with Adam in Las Vegas. There's Adam's autograph, from Honolulu. There's Adam, in a photo from Rolling Stone. And there's me and my husband - who looked JUST LIKE ADAM - in 1968.
This time, a year ago, I got alot of laughter from my dear family. I think they assumed I was, belatedly, wishing for a second chance at youth. They thought it would pass. And, as all of us here know, it has not.
My DNA has changed. The very essence of me has changed. I am learning about the rest of my life. Why did I shun the opportunity to acknowledge life in all its forms; love in every way? Why did I think love could only be between a man and woman? Why? Why, when really thinking in organic terms, did I know heterosexual sex happens often, in every fucking way, but that homosexual relations were somehow 'icky' and forbidden?? Where was the rock under which I hid?
This is why I embrace the Urban Dictionary; why I am finally realizing that my sexual self is just another part of the loving person I am. Curiosity is okay! Exploration of self is okay! This is true liberation for those of us born in the 1950s.
My mind is not just open. It's a full-blown crater; accepting ideas, lifestyles, tattoos, music, careers, travel, fashion, politics, trends - - a universe has come to my fingertips, my eyes, and my heart.
And, along with the sex and the stimulation and the energy is the change. Embracing love; finding ways to celebrate the way that every person who crosses my path has meaning to me.
I know this sounds too sweet to be real. But today, at the hospital, as I made my rounds, I met a couple who 'celebrated' their 60th wedding anniversary yesterday, when they came into room 432-2. Their lives paralleled mine. He met her when she was sixteen. Yep, here. They have 4 children. Yes. Four grown. They have a son named Eli. So do I. They came to Sonoma County and built a log home. So did we. Husband started a business. Ditto. Well, the comparisons went on, until the patient's wife said "It's like the Universe is watching us!"
I keep having these moments. Life-affirming moments. I came in contact with myself, fianlly, two years ago. Since then, the journey I take every day - in this quiet house, or through the hills on the back of our property, or on the swing where I soar, between the two oak trees in the yard; or at work, with the patients who allow me to share their intimate sorrow - is flavored, is accentuated and made perfect in such, such meaningful ways - because someone cued me in on perception, thoughts, and feelings.
I know Adam will change the world. I was a tough nut to crack. Opinionated and sure. Then I heard his voice. We will watch, and understand, and accept, as the emotion and the timbre seep into the hardest of hearts, the staid rock of saddened and bereft souls.
Well. I've revealed enough for tonight. Next week I have to 'find a word' for my Toastmasters meeting. Should I define 'sploshing'?
;D
