Hugs and kisses to you Seoulmate
I lost my mum in January this year and I understand what you are going through. My mum's death was sudden and of her three children I was the only one who managed to be with her when she died, my mum lived in England and I'm up here in Scotland. Both my brothers live in the USA and they were devastated when I had to phone them to tell them what had happened. I was only at her bedside in hospital for a hour before she died and I'm positive that she waited for me.
This is a reading from mum's funeral that helped us and I hope it helps you and anyone who has gone through the same thing will find comfort in it too.
When tomorrow starts without me and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today;
While thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me as much as I love you;
And each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand.
She said my place was ready in heaven far above;
And that I'd have to leave behind, all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye;
For all my life, I'd always thought I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for, so much yet to do;
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad;
I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realised that this could never be;
For emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things I might miss come tomorrow;
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates I felt so much at home;
When God looked down and smiled at me from his great golden throne.
He said, "This is eternity and all I've promised you;
Today your life on earth is past but here it all starts anew."
"I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last;
And since each day's the same day, there's no longing for the past."
But you have suffered and now at last you're free;
So won't you take my hand and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here in your heart.
