The only thing that keeps this from being OT is # 1, which we've discussed a few times.
I informed the friend who sent it to me that I may move back to Fort Lauderdale just to have the assurance that he will do this for me before my children are made aware of my demise.
Oh, and # 4, which would be helpful in keeping some of us who tend to be wise guys out of trouble on ATOP.
*** Adult Truths ***
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately
clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I
was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm
pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how
the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything
productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray?
I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it
asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical
report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know
not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday
or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom
and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and
still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their
car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the
Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the
snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed,
first time, every time.
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874
and the first helmet was used in 1974.
That means it only took 100
years for men to realize that their brain is also important.Ladies Quit Laughing.
