Some of us are really taking the hair thing more seriously than I thought, and this has me thinking about NoAngel's essay and about what we can learn from Adam.
As a young girl, I grew up in a family with very high standards. We children were expected to perform well, skip grades in school, always be polite and courteous to others, and, in general, behave in ways that would garner admiration for our parents. My mother, whom I love, enjoyed parading out our accomplishments whenever she could capture a listening audience. Thanks in large part to my four talented siblings, she had some good material from time to time.
As a result, I grew up with an underlying desire to please others and a need to excel in all I do, which I have systematically been working to break down and eradicate, quite
successfully, LOL, since adulthood. My children have helped me with that, and so have been my best teachers, although not always the easiest ones.
.
Although they arrived with only half of their father's free spirited, wildly creative DNA, they exploded into their childhood and teenage years raising eyebrows and upsetting pearl clutchers as naturally as breathing air. And since I was their parent, those eyebrows were more often than not sent my way as well. After all, the apple
doesn't fall far from the tree, right?
While my siblings raised "respectable" children in the image of our family of origin, my
children would not fit any mold, and so, loving them, I began to learn to fly in the face of
society's judgments and to get comfortable with whatever image they were going for and
to understand and admire the people who lead AND the ones who follow and recognize the merit in both. This has been invaluable to me as a teacher.
How this relates to Adam and his hair and some people's feelings about it... In the
beginning, when my kids, who I found physically beautiful and perfect, began doing "crazy" things and having fun making statements with their images, I did not appreciate it. I understood it, but I also didn't like that they messed with my idea of what I thought looked best.
Some self searching during that time eventually made me realize that some of my mom
still remained in me. I acknowledged the last remnant of that childhood self that still wanted to please others and be validated by their approval, that still was too concerned with physical image and how my society (of mothers and teachers, at the time) shaped the box of what was considered conventionally beautiful and "best." I finally gave all traces of
that up and decided to actively appreciate my children and support and enjoy who they were and who they dreamed of becoming, and whatever good things they brought my way. The beauty of it was that doing this completely freed me up to love and appreciate them in a far less angsty way. Now that they are adults, I work at keeping from having any personal agenda for them.
That is how I feel about Adam. I love all the good things he brings my way. In a world
where society often tells us "image is everything," it is nice to see Adam have fun with his and not take it too seriously. I find it all entertaining, and while some looks are bigger hits with me personally than others, and some even make me smile, I love that he takes risks, doesn't allow himself to be pigeon-holed into anyone's boxes, and proudly makes statements wherever he goes. It is part of what attracts me to him most. I love a rebel.
Especially a (mainly) nice one, LOL.
