I'm also from the 'liberal' Bay Area.
My neighbors of a quarter-century were gay.
They were my family. They shared Thanksgiving and Christmas and Fourth of July with me, my husband and our boys.
They also shared hockey games, back-to-school nights, BBQs, report cards, soccer and baseball games and swim meets, college applications (they wrote wonderful reference letters), pictures, recipes, iris bulbs, vegetable gardens, water volleyball, pets, music, summer nights, joys and sorrows and regrets - - and they held my youngest son when he was born - - even before I did. They were the parents, grandparents, and friends I longed for.
I loved them so - and I still do. What they gave to my sons - inspiration, advice, love, humor, acceptance - is reflected, every day, in how I see my boys, now living their lives with self-confidence, understanding and kindness; and a fierce defiance of anything that is not true.
Back in 1975, when we bought this bit of earth and built our home, our neighbors left for awhile. Later, I learned from them about their fears - that 'we would not accept them' - and, that somehow, if their orientation, their love became known, they would lose their employment and stature in the community. Amazingly, horribly, it did not surprise me at the time. At the time.
I wish they were still here, and we could sit under the manzanita awhile and talk about Adam - and what has happened - and what will be. One would be philosophical and borne to examine the voice and technique; one would be dancing and exuberant and ready to toast the next performance! They would honor and embrace my passion because it came from my heart; and they were always ready to love what I loved; support what I needed to believe in.
Their ashes nourish the soil by the kitchen; under that manzanita. No words will ever be able to express how they awakened and quickened me. They encouraged and fed and embraced and educated me and my family - just by being the beloved men across the driveway. In a way I want to apologize for how mundane this must read - - I cannot do this well. I wish I could; I wish I had the words. They deserve excellence. They were honest and were afraid for who would know.
What a crazy world. For far too long we have failed to recognize those among us who inspire perseverance and quiet, knowledgeable courage. Inspiration gives us reason to soar. We should have been flying long ago.
