mika
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Post by mika on Jun 2, 2012 0:53:44 GMT -5
aloha and itsnotjustme - understand and hope you check back in the future if there is a future Everything is at least double edged. this out of the way spot can be used to share thoughts and concerns without tripping up the regular news thread - esp thoughts/concerns -that might seem too angsty for main room, but can be gotten out safely here. Or you can use it to vent grievances against members of the community. that seems to me counterproductive and a bit unfair. It's doubtful that anyone agrees w/leadership decisions/views all the time - but we are guests in a house that Q3 built and that she and the mods maintain - a stressful, unpaid job on top of their RLs. And there are also the regs who work tirelessly on Adam's behalf, organizing info to make voting, etc. easier for those of us challenged in that area. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I and I think some others had hoped this would be a quiet spot off the main thoroughfare where one could speak from the heart more freely and people would let such thoughts be aired without any anger storms or upsetting people who have a legitimate desire to read through a daily thread focused primarily on news of the day and lighter asides. I'm not a mod or anyone important - and god knows I understand having my furred rubbed the wrong way - but I really hope future postings are about sharing ideas/feelings about Adam related topics, or almost anything really, rather than using the openness for criticism of internal atop issues/people. I think continuing on this path will drive away people with interesting things to say and fulfill the original stereotype of what a dark thread is. I came here not because I was a seeking a forum to criticize atop from the inside but because I didn't quite fit in with the mainstream, but that's not anyone's fault. Anyway, just one sad person's opinion. A very congested, soon to be unemployed, possibly homeless person - so I request your forbearance. ( Maria1 - I meant to say kudos on your post on pride (so true what you said) but couldn't manage the iPad I was abusing.)
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Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2012 0:54:39 GMT -5
Ok, so I guess I got too dark? I was really just trying to say how I see parallels between the shunning of dark posters and the shunning of gay people. It seems to really match up to me. It was a general political statement. And it has made me think about Adam and his struggles. THis site is an escape from RL and not that serious--obviously it is a bit tongue in cheek for me to compare us to the civil right battles. But I stand by what I wrote because it seems like a fair metaphor to me. And it has made me stop and think about things from different angles--which is all I was hoping it would do for others.
For the record, I meant NO disrespect to our admin at all. This is her site for which I am very thankful. She has every right to make any decision she wants based on anything she wants, and I can't fault her for it. I can only question my fit here. Like life though, nothing is perfect. Not me, not ATop, and not even Adam. Doesn't mean I don't love all of them. But I wont pretend I love everything about them/me.
Sorry, darksiders, if I have scared away some party guests. I guess I got too close to the second hand smoke, lost my inhibitions and got carried away with the sense of freedom to post my thoughts. Please let me know the general consensus of the rules here so I can post within the darkside boundaries. And I am serious when I say that last part--I don't want to offend anyone.
ETA so I reread my previous post and can see how it may have seemed I was speaking strongly against the politics here when I was meaning to speak against the politics and leaders of the real world. ATops role in the post was just to make a simile to help explain my views of a complex world.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2012 1:23:09 GMT -5
And I must add, that I don't feel that being here makes the statement of endorsement of everything everyone else posts here. I certainly hope you don't have to feel aligned to my posts to stay.
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mika
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Post by mika on Jun 2, 2012 1:39:34 GMT -5
Kay - I hope it didn't seem like I was jumping on you - I could hear your excitement at more room for expression. And I wasn't offended by your comparison. Again speaking as one person who represents no one: We are in Atop so atop rules apply but I believe mods don't have time to monitor yet another area. Since it's off the main drag, I assume there's a bit less need to keep things on topic but if it violates the basic tenets (which are good ones) well... My impression? Some would enjoy a less structured corner sometimes - esp one where they can share concerns - since that's been a theme recently. One person's 'I wonder if this is happening or not good, whatever.." is another person's 'why are you angsty when it's a time of joy' Maybe it's the libra in me but I tend to think both are legit views. Re: peeps bailing or backing away, I think it just feels squicky to the vast majority of atopians to use this space to complain about the host. And I think the initial positive response was to the idea of a flexible forum rather than one that defines itself by being an opposition of something - if that makes sense? To put it in my own simple terms - I think some were thinking more easy going, chatty salon than fervent bolshevik hideaway. But I made all that up out of whole cloth - so again - just one person's opinion. (I actually can't breathe at the moment so I need to step away and work on that )
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jamie
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Post by jamie on Jun 2, 2012 2:58:28 GMT -5
" I think some were thinking more easy going, chatty salon..." Yep, that sounds lovely. The slower pace here suits me as I'm always behind in the main thread and sometime don't feel like I have the proper armor on to post to the masses. Here, for whatever reason it feels a little easier to post random thoughts in the cozy little enclave everyone built. I love seeing some of my favorite people showing a different color of of their thoughts. Glittergma, always a ray of sunshine who makes me smile. It's so nice you feel you can share during those times when your sunshine isn't feeling so bright. Seoulmate, you always make me smile and are some sort of savant when it comes to finding the perfect gif to make me laugh out loud. Seeing your tears it lets us know you a little better and, once again, makes me happy you can come hear when you need to share. Lynne, I don't think I ever told you how much I enjoy your stories about your kids both biological and the other ones whose lives you shape. I wish every school had one of you. Allison, I remember hanging out in the old music thread and it is so good to see you again! Hoppers, you are always running around trying to keep the peace, hopefully you wont have to do that here but can hang up the carpet bag once and a while and take a load off. Aloha, you remind me of your state a breath of fresh air, beautiful and elegant and I hope this place ends up being somewhere you would like to hang out. Mika, I've so missed your posts, your humor and wisdom and having to run off to google to figure out what the hell you're talking about this time. Thanks for the effort to keep things afloat. I'm missing lots of other people who's posts I've enjoyed reading here but I'm mainly just trying to say that this place could be a nice alternative to unwind when the mood strikes, a safe haven when your in the mood to let your hair down or just want to slow down and ponder something at a leisurely pace. Hope it works out. I've been meaning to ask on the main thread but I'll ask here instead. Does anyone remember a video of Adam at some meet and greet where he responds to someone's question about Runnin' saying something to the affect of 'I don't know why people keep talking about Runnin' but yeah, that one is really personal'. So have there been any lyric dissections of this song? Just off the top of my head it sounds like it starts off when Adam is burnt out on partying and looking for the next fix, the next guy. He's seen it all and is tired and worn down. Even his voice is low. Then 'my heart's beating faster I know what I'm after..' is like something switched a light on. Sauli? Maybe during those first months before they solidified and Adam was in his funk maybe running from what he's beginning to recognize as love? He's on his knees and crawling and can't breath right. All the sudden the bridge is like a revelation 'whoaooaoo, I'm coming alive..' He's maybe giving into to what his heart's been needing and the song takes off when he stops running from his heart? This is from memory and I don't have the lyrics so I'm probably way off but I've wanted to get others opinions since hearing him say how personal the song was. ETA: Looks up Hope this isn't the beginning of the end. I don't think anyone wants this to be a place where criticizing the people that make this place possible is ok. It can be whatever we want it to be. Same rules apply, no denigrating anyone. If not...it was a beautiful place everyone created, if only for a moment. Hope it works out.
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JazzRocks
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The Crazy Train is Ready to Roll!
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Post by JazzRocks on Jun 2, 2012 7:34:45 GMT -5
Since I've spent a lot of my time as an Adam Fan on the infamous roller coaster I'll more than likely spend time in both the Light & Dark threads. I can go from flail to angst very, very quickly. lol. My main concern/angst/worry for Adam is radio stats (whether due to homophobia or other mysterious reasons). For those of you who don't visit the Numbers thread here is an eye-opening article that Q3 posted there. Really worth reading.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2012 8:31:49 GMT -5
The Dark Sat had a soft opening, and it was a mixed bag. Some saw potential in the freedom to be found there, while others were repulsed because some in the club were militant and angry and couldn't hide it.
Dark Adam -- pour me a drink.
jamie, I loved what you posted about Runnin. I didn't know Adam said the song was very personal. It seems to me it is about a person realizing he had made multiple rounds on a merry-go-round of the same mistakes. There is self-contempt there.
Speaking of being broken open ... you guise (why do we spell it that way here?), I have always been a loner. Belonging to a group is new to me. I find myself an outlier yet again, here. I can't blame people for being angry and expressing it. Being marginalized again, here, of all places, wow, it hurts.
We've had this place less than 48 hours. For heaven's sake let's give it a chance.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2012 9:03:01 GMT -5
No No No. This isn't going well. I never thought that people would be jumping ship to get away from me and my ponderings--especially in a spot labelled the dark side.
The best part of finding Adam for me has been that he has made me think about new things--myself, my religion, my society, my parenting, my politics, my path in life etc. etc etc. Atop has helped give me new angles to see things, always related to him. I read something about Adam, I leave the site for 24 or 36 hours and I think about how things connect to my RL while I am driving around or otherwise living life. Then much later I come here and throw in the short evolution of my thoughts. Maybe because I brought up a theme (censorship of ideas) that was talked about a few days ago makes people think I am obsessed with it or that this is my mission statement. Absolutely not! I think my post was completely on topic because it was just another way to try to relate to Adam's community.
I was not criticizing anyone only trying to draw parallels to the misunderstanding of some here to the misunderstandings of the gay community. I love ATop, I love its leaders, I love it's rules. I do not believe the dark side is not monitored or a free for all. I do not consider myself anywhere close to being militaristic, anarchist or however I have been misconstrued. I just like to address all sides of things. I don't always know how to communicate well and I think I must be failing now.
I will not say more about the subject of feeling unfree to show both sides within Atop, not that I planned to, and not that I feel it is an rebellious view, but because others seem to think it is more than it is. Thank you to those who seem to understand the benign nature of my post--and even those who don't. I always take something away from both sides of an issue.
I will say my sorrys and walk away now to let you all meet here to discuss the more negative aspects of the radio game and stanning Adam. Please come back everyone!
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Post by Craazyforadam on Jun 2, 2012 10:39:18 GMT -5
Hello, just wanted to let you know that I am lurking, don't have really important stuff to say right now, just wanted to let you know I'm here and how I feel and that I appreciate this thread and its present members here. Thanks for the warm and cozy feel and the hospitality.
This thread is still finding its way, its purpose, its language, its community...so some posts may be a bit testing the water and some things work, others don't.
I concur that if this thread would end up majorly whining about main street or admins, it will mean its own demise, we are all guests here, so everyone needs to behave in such a way that they can be trusted, and then correspondingly be left alone. But as far as I read here, there was only one post exploring a stronger tone and that poster has long detected that this took things into a bit unwanted territory, self-correction is taking place, and all is fine. And for those who just swang by, read one post and based on that one post swore that they will never return, without checking whether that is the overall sentiment of the thread, I think they were not too serious about their visit to begin with. They will either think things over and return or not, no point in running after anyone. I do appreciate the warning to not go down that path, I think that is valid though.
I personally will surely come and read, perhaps write, if I feel I have something valuable to contribute, but I certainly plan to be occasionally active in other places too. I am not sure quite where I belong or whether I belong anywhere or nowhere to be honest. So much is in the air.
I will have to see what the tone of the daily thread is going forward. Yesterday there was quite a few angsty radio posts there and nothing happened to those posters. They were certainly not sent here. But the warnings regarding any radio critique were pointed. So, that is at least my observation.
Today, so far there are no negative posts as far as I can tell, but it is also quite muted over there. So, I think many are still in a wait and see pattern trying to figure out what is expected or wanted or appreciated.
I think that is for me the biggest struggle with all this, I am not really sure, what the whole purpose is of the separation.
I read, it is to avoid google searches on potentially negative posts. Can someone enlighten me, why does a separate thread for 'dark topics' solve that problem? Would google search not link to this thread just as easily as to the main thread?
I read, it is to keep the main thread positive in tone. I can understand that, atop is now read by radio peeps, by media etc., perhaps we are now seen as having a more promotional role. Just like Adam needs to always find a way to put a positive spin on things. Is that what we are supposed to do? In that case a separate discussion forum /salon would make sense, but then maybe we should make that members only, so casual 'searchers' cannot pick it up and quote quite so easily out of context in a tweet or so.
In its present form, I am not quite sure yet what this will become, but meanwhile, I have enjoyed reading 10 pages of smart and well formulated discussion and I have found comfort in the lights and the decor given to this 'not all that dark' place.
Mika, Lynne, I have especially enjoyed your posts and think you gave this thread a wonderful tone and atmosphere and made me dare come out and post today. I so appreciate your musings here.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2012 11:34:56 GMT -5
I'm not nearly as articulate as most of the wonderful posters on this thread, but just want to support the idea that the thread is still finding its way and hope it keeps going.
I personally wasn't that put off by any of the posts, but on reflection agree that criticizing atop itself or individuals is not desirable even in a dark thread.
It's understandable though that there will be some testing of the limits of the darkness and I would like to give it a chance. I still think there is a lot of potential and am looking forward to seeing how it evolves.
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