mahailia
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Post by mahailia on Oct 30, 2012 20:29:39 GMT -5
Ah, haaaaaa. I see the light!
Juniemoon said above (sorry I suck at quoting mulitple times):
P.S. If you were nodding your head reading this post, you or someone you love just might be emotionally sensitive. If you felt your inner George Patton awakening, not so much.
and then grandduchesspf said after her:
I agree with you Junniemoon. I have people in my life that I have to really think about what I am going to say next because they are very sensitive and I am rather pragmatic.
Thanks Junie for your compliment on my post, and to all others that have commented. I think it was very brave of you to put it out here, and not a big mistake at all. I was a little worried that you might take offense, so glad you didn't, and glad you put forth such an excellent post yourself.
First, my son is a sensitive, and also an empath, so I was nodding my head a lot. I had just temporarily forgotten, because he is now in college, and has been away for 5 years now. He has grown up, and doesn't cry anymore when I give him an angry or disgusted look. But now I understand exactly what you mean.
And second, grandduchess - your comment resonated with me not because I am pragmatic (unless I don't understand another big word, that happens to me here) but I am honest to a fault and always tell it like I see it, and I often find myself appologizing for my bluntness.
Third, I think sometimes something said just pushes somebody's button. We all have things we are sensitive about rather we are a "sensitive" or not. It depends on who you are, what your experience has been like, what your frame of reference in viewing the world is, and how you see yourself in relationship to others, and probably a whole lot more.........
Like Tinafea just now, and I don't think geezlouise's comments were directed specifically at her. Tina, I hope you see this: I am sure being a mod is very difficult, and I am sure that everyone here really appreciates all that you mods do. So please don't be angry and know that we all love you. And, don't run away!
And finally fourth, I think some people are so excited to be here and care so much about the interaction here, that they do get offended, and overreact, and take things too personally, sometimes.
But, (I'm tired of numbers now) I also think geez is right that some people have tried to pick fights on this board. Some people have confrontational natures, just like some people are sensitive and some are pragmatic, and some have other temperments, they are probably as varied as the avis here. I wasn't around much this summer, so I can't really say one way or the other. The green line has been needed plenty of times, and for the most part has been beneficial to keeping order on this crazy train we call Adamtopia.
But the atmosphere here has changed. And geez is right that we used to be able to have all kinds of interesting discussions on the main thread. I shall now reveal that that is why Alek posted her deep and moving insight on the main thread instead of here a couple of days ago. It would be very nice to be able to get back to that, instead of "Just the Facts" (News).
I think part of it is growing pains. Adam's fandom is growing, and as I said earlier, there are new people coming here every day. In fact (well maybe not actually a fact) I seem to remember that membership was around 300 before the EMA performance, and the latest count is 1262. So in a year, we have grown as a fan community by leaps and bounds. Now, some people are new and excited, some people are George Patton (I love that analogy) crusaders, some people are sensitives, and some people are just trying to work up the nerve to post, while others are only lurking. Then there are those of us hardies that flail away regardless of what else is going on.
The interpersonal dynamics at Atop would make a good study, as has been mentioned here before. But, a lot of the fun of this place seems to have fallen by the wayside, which is really sad. I stand by my opinion that people have gottten too serious, so my prescription is:
lighten up, everybody, and lets have some fun around here!
And some deep soul searching insights inspired by our fearless leader, Grammy Nominated Adam MutherF*ckin Beast Lambert.
And now I'm going to watch NCIS, night to all you lovely friends.
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mahailia
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Post by mahailia on Oct 30, 2012 20:38:50 GMT -5
P. S. Thanks to Q, always the calm and sensible and very, very smart and fearless leaderess.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2012 21:15:07 GMT -5
hah
Adam seems to having a similar problem to atop!! :4OMG:
Adam Lambert @adamlambert
Hahah woah some folks have no sense of humor on this here twitter.... Deep breaths!! Not everything I tweet should be taken so literally.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2012 11:21:25 GMT -5
nonchallance, I wanted to say thanks for those great Photoshop links you posted! I bookmarked all of them. I loved the Photoshop bloopers site too! LOL.  We haven't had any poems for a while. This morning I ran across some great words from Herman Hesse about trees. So many trees are among the casualties of Sandy. I thought it might be nice to remember them too, even though the terrible damage and suffering has to be at the top of our concerns.  Red oak - state tree of New Jersey When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts. . . . Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all. Sugar maple - state tree of New York A longing to wander tears my heart when I hear trees rustling in the wind at evening. If one listens to them silently for a long time, this longing reveals its kernel, its meaning. It is not so much a matter of escaping from one’s suffering, though it may seem to be so. It is a longing for home, for a memory of the mother, for new metaphors for life. It leads home. Every path leads homeward, every step is birth, every step is death, every grave is mother. White oak - state tree of Connecticut So the tree rustles in the evening, when we stand uneasy before our own childish thoughts: Trees have long thoughts, long-breathing and restful, just as they have longer lives than ours. They are wiser than we are, as long as we do not listen to them. But when we have learned how to listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve an incomparable joy. Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness. Eastern hemlock - state tree of Pennsylvania
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Post by mszue on Oct 31, 2012 14:07:11 GMT -5
It fascinates me as we examine what we feel are the lyrics of this latest song...HOLD ON
Armour on, headstrong, now we’re on a mission
Stompin out all the rules of the game
Ante up, sleeves up, now you got the vision
Bullet proof and we’re not gonna change
The world’s eyes lookin down cause we’re seen different
We’ve got each other and who cares who knows
If ignorance is bliss why’re they still bitchin
Haters eat our dust cause the wind’s gonna blow
They say we are only
Hopeless and alone and
They say we don’t know who we are
Hold on now
They can’t come between us
They’ll never defeat us
We won’t break so easily
Hold on now
Come out of the darkness
I know that you can find your way somehow
Trust you gonna find it
Baby it’s all right, you’re born to fly
Just hold on
Misfits won’t quit, get your arms up
No one else can bring it like us
Rock’n’roll with the punches, lights out
Hold on when the goin’ gets tough
They say we are only hopeless and alone and
They say we don’t know who we are
Hold on now
They can’t come between us
They’ll never defeat us
We won’t break so easily
Hold on now
Come out of the darkness
I know that you can find your way somehow
Trust you gonna find it
Baby it’s all right, you’re born to fly
Just hold on
Just hold on….
...that Adam really has been putting on his game face in interviews to an extent we did not truly grasp. I am not going to go on a rant about emotional labour as I know you are all sick of hearing it...but this is what it looks like:
or
compared to another face.....
We see a little more of the side that wrote those lyrics...and this interview is likely closer to the time frame of Hold On as well....
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2012 16:08:30 GMT -5
mszue, you know, I find this a very interesting way to think about this song. I admit I'm not that crazy about this song, or "Get Over It" as songs, and think "they" made the right choices to use other tracks instead. Lyrically it's heated ... a little heavy-handed even ... not nearly as inclusive as Trespassing or sympathetic as Outlaws of Love.
On the other hand -- as a window into Adam's thoughts it's priceless. Thanks for sharing those videos!
With the exception of a couple of songs *cough*, this album demonstrates that Adam sees music as a way to offer commentary and a call to action. There isn't a traditional love song on the album until you get to Nirvana. All songs about various aspects of emotional life as a gay man and outsider in America ... deeply personal.
What thrills me here how this song illuminates Adam's philosophy that lyrics matter. Content fuels his passion onstage. This is music, man!
I really hope Adam continues to work on developing his artistry on the lyrical level ... finding ways to speak candidly with us. I so agreed with geezlouise above -- let Adam be Adam.
ETA: This is for the bird lovers -- really amazing!!!
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Post by seoulmate on Oct 31, 2012 17:32:15 GMT -5
juniemoon + Herman Hesse + trees = me---> :2tears: :2tears: Thank you, bb. 
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2012 17:54:36 GMT -5
I read your post this morning, Juniemoon, about emotionally sensitive people and I was thinking about it at work, all day actually, trying to organise the comment in my head and I was almost there when I got intersected, emotionally, lol, by the new song and now I'm absolutely nowhere. So this is going to be a stream of consciousness kind of post :-/ I'm definitely one of those people, or at least I'd like to think I am. That's how I raise my children, as a matter of fact, or teach my pupils. To be able to emotionally respond to their surroundings, to understand their own feelings and those of others, to be able to empathize. To be considerate to others and to themselves. Does that mean that we cry when someone yells boo? Not me, for sure. I'm just saying this to establish that we're on the same page here. If you were referring to that kind of, maybe emotional oversensitivity, then I'm not like that, I think. At least not to a disturbing extent  To connect that to the recent events here on Atop, people leaving and such ( I can only speak for myself): I left because my feelings got hurt and not only am I not ashamed to say it, I'm proud of it. Because I have them and they can get, consequently, hurt. I don't get along too well with cool, cold, I'm a rock, I'm an island, I'm untouchable kind of people. At that point, it had felt to me like there was a decent number of such people here, so I packed up my thingses and fled. Boy, was I wrong!!! In the course of my little escapade, I have learned more about Atopers than during a year spent here. What a crazy, diverse, empathic, intelligent, warm bunch! The number of 'cold' people is smaller than the number of fingers on my left hand and you can take my word for it. As far as the rules are concerned, I have no issues with them; I enjoy the variety of threads. What I don't enjoy follows: 1. most great posters find the main thread not so acceptable place for their musings. It's a shame, and as for myself, I'll track you down, but the majority of readers won't, so... it's a shame. 2. posters who make it their business to go around and criticise others in a harsh manner, and most of their posts is like that. 3. we all have our AMA posts. Some people don't think too much before posting, myself included. In that case: there are ways and ways of telling someone that their post sucks. Shouldn't we be kind and gentle? Considerate? Do we have to jump at each other's throats? Doesn't everyone, especially old members, deserve to be cut some slack, or to be PMd, or to be disagreed with in a humorous or, idk, loving way? A little scroll of the button? I'm a semi-firm believer in 'if you don't have anything nice to say to me, don't say it'. 4. when some people deliberately misinterpret your words, just so that they could disagree for the sake of disagreeing, pretending that they don't understand, engaging in meaningless and petty nitpicking... That happened to me. Nothing anyone said could convince me that there was one person who did not understand that I was being sarcastic and using hiperbole for humorous effect in that unfortunate post of mine... Those things are taught in school, fcol. Pure pretense, I'm sure. 5. last and definitely not the least, and totally personal, even more than this whole too personal post: I cannot stand it when I see, for example six negative posts about Adam's concert/song/video/whatever as opposed to two positive! Please, I'm so sorry, I'm all for different opinions, but I just find it hard to understand. It's my one and only pet peeve, this is an Adam stanning forum after all, imagine an innocent passer-by coming here and reading such stuff... In my own defense, I have to say I never comment on negative posts... eating my guts away over here is how I cope. Or post inane, fluffy, too cheerful, squeey posts... (passive-aggressive much, lol) I have to say that the less enjoyable stuff I just numbered is pretty rare. As someone who believes in being considerate to other people's emotions, I'll respect the feelings of those who left and hope for their return. And no matter how hard I try not to offend anyone while posting, I somehow manage to do that, successfully. In which case I always apologise, repeatedly. I'd beg on my knees for forgiveness, if necessary. I like people and I can't stand offending anyone. But to apologise to those just pretending they were offended - never. Like postAMAs Adam, who never apologised, because there was nothing to apologise or feel regret for, apart from less than perfect singing. I vote for exchanging opinions fruitfully, respecting each other and nurturing variety. Label me corny/sentimental/oversensitive or what you like - I'm here because of the great PEOPLE, first and foremost. And since the peeps ARE great, c'mon, enjoy yourselves/come back/post away! Forgive me my long-assedness/messiness/openness/bluntness... Feel free to disagree, I promise I won't cry  |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2012 11:22:34 GMT -5
aleks, you totally got what I was saying about emotions and sensitivity. Thanks! I read your long-assed post last night. It was wonderful, a message straight from your heart. I didn't know you were a mom and a teacher. :wub: First off let me say that I agree with you about apologies. There is a formula for apologies posted on the wall of a sandwich shop I patronize. It goes something like, "Apologies have three parts. 1) What I did hurt you. 2) I regret what I did. 3) Here's how I'm going to make it better." I totally agree with Adam, and you, that no one was harmed, period. If no one was harmed, then there is no need to proceed further with the formula. The larger substance of your post was food for thought this morning, along with the post that Q3 put here. And I think what we are discussing here is the difference between the rule of law (or rules or guidelines), and a system of social norms and ethics. The Atop rules have not changed. In fact, one of the things I really liked about Atop when I first came here was the active moderation with several moderators who had a variety of styles. It seems to me that the system of ethics and norms has changed around the Atop rules. mahailia wrote about this in her great post -- quoting now: This board used to be a really fun and hillarious place. Maybe it was because we were all new to the fandom at that time.... But, for a lot of us, the newness has worn off. Thus the seriousness of charts, spins, placement or not on radio, reflects the knowledge of the business that we have gained over the past 3 years, and how earnest we all are to get Adam the radio play and recoginition he deserves. It can really get you down if you let it, to see your idol not getting the accolades he deserves. People are very passionate, and very serious about their input, and the fallout from it.That is a pretty major shift in norms! And a very complex set of ethics has developed around it, with a history that grandduchess talked about. Aleks, I agree that there is a subset of self-appointed people who seem to hit reload on the main thread every few minutes and jump in to police it down to the most minute choice of words. Depending on your outlook on life you can call them thought police or energy suckers or whatever. As you might expect, thought police are very good at policing their own thoughts as well as those of others. Very good at taking energy from you (either by draining you or provoking an explosion from you). They know how close to get to the Atop rules without being penalized by Q3 or the remaining moderators. The other day on the main thread I couldn't stand something that was happening, and I asked if, in general, posters could cut another member some slack. I probably shouldn't have said anything, and in any case that was not the right choice of words. To cut some slack means to loosen a rope that is too tight. To loosen a Chokehold, if you will. My choice of words basically gave the power to the thought police, as if torturing another member was their right and all I was asking was that they tone it down a bit. What I really meant was to give other members some space. All meet as equals on the middle ground. It may not always be Nirvana. Sometimes we may need a Map because of all the Broken English. Some of our members may be Cuckoo while others may spend a lot of time Underneath. Without space -- which is really mutual respect -- there can be no trust and no friendship. As I wrote above, if people can't acknowledge their true natures, then we deny ourselves the chance to receive beautiful things like ideas, openness, dignity, joy, and inclusion. Presumably the whole reason we are all here in the first place. The middle ground is cut away until there is nowhere left to stand. I continue to not know what the answer is. I don't know how to change the norms and ethics. There are loving, genuine, honest people here, still. People who speak the truth without feeling the need to justify it or qualify it, and who allow others to speak their truth too. People who are playful and laugh and have fun. Here is an older article that may at first appear OT but I think is actually very relevant to what we have been discussing lately: Why Don't We Do It In The Road? www.salon.com/2004/05/20/traffic_design/
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Post by mszue on Nov 1, 2012 11:48:31 GMT -5
juniemoon....magnificent post...and not at all OT article.
I fully believe that people will live up to your highest expectations when given the opportunity....and your lowest when not. This is the core of the old saying "it is the exception that proves the rule".
hugs and applause...
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