The Moon Garden Lounge

alek & lynne, love all your words.

but what the heck are these numbers?

I'm clueless, as usual.

See, I actually believed in that big fat lie. I know. :
I can laugh at it now, but it took a few years, a lot of drama and me hitting a couple of hard-rock walls. Learning what you wrote was painful for me.

Also, I still keep learning, which makes love and relationships a process, a wonderful and challenging perpetuum mobile. Once you figure out just the smallest love's trinket, it feels great. So I keep figuring out.

thanks ladies!

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I thought the concert was today! duhhhhhh

I loved reading all the thoughtful posts from this weekend. It is interesting to read all the different perspectives about fandom and balance and whether or not fandom has been a positive or negative influence in life.

Aleks, your post this morning really resonated deeply with me. Say it, girl!

I do keep coming back to the sports thing, because people who love sports, I think, do so because it connects us with the highest aspirations of mankind. Some people manage to subvert that and ruin it for themselves with obsession (see Penn State; see Lance Armstrong). But in essence that is what it's all about, and why society supports it so strongly.

Many of us connected strongly, for example, when New Orleans made the Super Bowl, and were touched by the dancing in the churches and by people who took the victory newspapers out to the cemeteries to leave on the tombs of long-suffering fans who didn't live to see the day. Certainly there was much more emotion there than a mere "game."

For me that is what Adam has been, and I don't feel the need to justify it or the time spent. Then again I've always had a tendency to "dive," as lynne says, to lose myself in having to discover everything about something. I'm not a "casual" anything, and I'm comfortable with that; it's not a new character trait that I discovered with Adam. I believe it's something I inherited from my mom.

There has been one time when I felt the lack of balance in the Adam thing and that was during the long drought of 2011. There was virtually nothing of what had brought me to Adam during that time. It really was just following celebrity news ... Adam's romance with Sauli, Adam's fashions, Adam's seemingly endless saga to make a second album. Aside from Outlaws of Love, I nearly burned out trying to keep the feeling going that I had from 2010 that Aleks described so well. I learned some things from that and will handle it differently when Adam "goes dark" again and turns his beautiful face away to create something new for us. It's Adam the musician and performer that is so transformative for me, not Adam the celebrity.

nikki, you are so beautiful in your picture with Adam! I did get to meet Adam as well, at one of the radio station concerts. I guess I will be brave and post my picture too:



I thought about posting this back at the time when it happened, but I'll tell you, I hesitated and still do because ... of the way fans were criticizing middle-aged fans like me for even showing up, as if we should stand outside in the rain like Stella Dallas:



Give me a break.

As far as meeting Adam, it seems to be like other things in life; you get back what you give away. There were some fans there who seemed greedy. These were people who had already met Adam many times. Some had met him at other radio stations within just a few hours. These fans were hard for me to understand. They seemed to embody a black hole of need.

Fortunately, Adam seemed full of light and joy. He seemed to feel in a room full of friends and I felt I was in the presence of a friend or big brother ... he has a paternal energy that feels surprising coming from someone still so boyish.

I don't know if I would get anything out of another chance to meet him or if I would even try for it. Similarly, I don't feel the need to go to every feasible concert, watch every video, or read every article. I don't ever want to feel that I'm consuming Adam as a product.

*

I read with interest what you all had to say about gender issues and transsexuals. I've never been acquainted with any transsexuals (that I know of). I do think that people know very early, as mahailia said, that they are different, and other kids and adults seem to know too and give them a hard time, even when they are presexual. One of my childhood friends who turned out to be gay had to deal with homophobic parents who were in Anita Bryant's crusade. In later years I've thought they probably suspected their son was gay and thought that was the way to prevent it somehow. Overall gay was a very bad thing back in those days. :(

I do remember a couple of kids from my school days who were perhaps transgendered. A boy who wore women's pantsuits and was very "swishy," and a girl who was rough and tough and wore men's work clothes. This two kids later went to an alternative school for students who don't fit in a regular school environment. In recent years I ran across the boy's Facebook page and there he was wearing a dress and cuddling with his partner. Good for him. :D

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