This is LONG-- SCROLL IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED. (It is also the first and only time I will ever address this topic)
I was not going to post because I am so obviously invested in a very personal way, but
sugaree, I felt I had to say something in support of what you are saying. Aspie's are individuals with varying degrees of this neurological disorder. They cannot be painted with the same brush, just as all red heads are not alike and all people who have bi polar disorder are not the same.
mys*&@^#r, you are actually right. Durbin IS clueless, immature and self absorbed. These are all part and parcel of Asperger syndrome in varying permutations. My son is academically on target with his peers but years behind them in emotional maturity. And as for being self absorbed-- well, that and a lack of self awareness has been his challenge and ours from the time he was diagnosed at 3 years of age. They can be taught to look outside of themselves, but it takes patience and time. The first time my son said, "Mom, how was YOUR day, today?" I actually cried. It was a breakthrough. It only took 12 years.
Okay.. the "christian" quote. Here's what I see. He is a Christian. He likes christians. He likes other people with other beliefs, too, but when he learns he has this in common with Daughtry he gets all excited and yay, "double points in the good book!" just pops into his head (and onto the twitter page)... It doesn't even
occur to him he is denigrating other beliefs. He's just happy! He has something in common with Daughtry! It's cool! It's fun!! Remember, he's a teenager emotionally!!!
The thing about an Aspie kid-- they say what they feel, however they can be taught to avoid certain subjects like the plague. We drilled into our son's head he must not mention religion or politics with anyone but us or people he absolutely trusts. He's likely to go the other way and offend all Christians-- because in our household we have discussed that many are prejudiced against gays! He would, if left to his own devices, blurt out something like "christians, eww"-- and get into a heap of trouble. Or he'll say, "Oh, no! Are you one of those REPUBLICANS?" And that's why--- Verboten!!! James needs to be taught this.
They know they are mocked but do not understand why. Sarcasm usually goes right over their heads until they learn to identify it, but it takes a long time. My son, who is 17, still will say, "are you being sarcastic?" when he's not sure. Sometimes he thinks you are even when you're not because he misreads your face and body cues.
They cannot fathom why someone would lie to them which makes them vulnerable to manipulation.
However, it is NOT true that an aspie will not lie. They will almost always tell the truth, however abrasive that truth may be, because that is natural for them but-- they (like all kids) learn to lie to avoid getting into trouble. And they get into trouble a lot because of their unfiltered mouths.
To confuse them even further, they are TOLD to lie under certain conditions (Grandma's cooking, whether mom looks fat today, etc)
Thing is, though, when they DO lie, most are stinking bad at it. Like James Durbin with his pathetic twitter lie-- oh, so obvious and easily caught.
The truth about JD is he will alway be different. Like my son will always be different. He cannot learn to control it, as someone earlier said. He can learn to control certain aspects of it but --hey-- his BRAIN is different and he cannot change that. It's like trying to change a person's sexuality. You can modify behavior but never change the core.
My son has been called a jerk, a retard, a freak and weird by people because of the awkwardness that permeates his interactions with others. In trying to train our son to behave "normally" so that he would not be ostracised, we often have to correct what he says or the way he says it. It actually broke my heart one day when he burst into tears and said, "Why is
everything I say wrong?"
But-- he is loving with those who love him, friendly (when people give him a chance) and very emotionally sensitive. So much so that it actually pains and scares him to try to make friends because he has been rejected so often.
If you met him today you wouldn't know he has Asperger's unless he tells you, and he probably won't because he desperately wants to be "normal." You'd think he is "eccentric."
I have to give JD a lot of credit for actually putting himself in situations that must make him very uncomfortable. I think he is brave.
And one last thing. No matter what you think about James Durbin, he is 22 and emotionally young for his age. He has not one, but TWO disabilities.
We are mature women and men in our thirties, forties and 50's.. and beyond.
It's clearly not an even match. Not even close.
But seriously, I will cut him some slack on the religion question because he really doesn’t know any better. That fault primarily falls on his parents and his pastor.
