readon
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Post by readon on Aug 22, 2011 22:18:58 GMT -5
Why is it necessary to cut down others to support Sauli? I find the comment "fit in everywhere" very homophobic. Isn't that the attitude we are all fighting against? Isn't Adam working hard to educate the masses to embrace their individuality? I'm sorry if this is coming across as too strong. I am dealing with just this issue at work. I didn't expect the attitudes here. I didn't read "fit in" as homophobic at all. I have had boyfriends that I thought could fit in in a variety of situations, and some that could not. Some were lost if they accompanied me to the symphony, but did great at a football party with friends. Some fit in at the symphony, but didn't relate well with my professional colleagues. Then, there were a few that I could take to a family gathering, a museum, a staff function, sailing, or to a bridal shower, and they fit in. I never had to worry about them. As for evolving, aren't we all? Adam himself, in an interview, said that because his life was changing so much, his taste in a partner might also change. I know that my choice in relationships changed for the better and occasionally for the worse, depending on where I was at the time. (Can you say, "approaching 40 and not married, a little desperate, figuring I needed to 'settle' and not be so picky?" "Can you say disaster?") Ultimately, we all hated when family and friends started giving us advice about the suitability and desirability of our boyfriends or girlfriends. And they had at least met them! I'm going with my mother's perspective. She always said, "Whoever treats you well and makes you happy, I will like. If they don't I don't care how wealthy, good looking, charming, or successful they are. I won't like them." Yay, Mom! (Bolded part) True that and Yay, Mom. Opinions are given based on individual experience and context. Before anyone takes offense based on homophobia, turn this around and think of what that comment would have sounded like if given truly from a straight relationship perspective. If my son was dating a a girl who was witty, sometimes brilliant, very girly, and often made gold digger comments, I would be happy that he is happy, but would secretly hope he found someone different. If he then proceeded to find a very artistic, kind person that appeared to be a little insecure, I would still want him to find someone else. I think the terms manly or effeminate are too generic and obscure the specific issues some of us may have found with the earlier partners. YMMV. |
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Post by 4Ms on Aug 22, 2011 22:22:24 GMT -5
I have no idea how to classify Sauli -- the only adjective I can come up with is smoldering. That is one hot man. And I think that Adam is lucky or fated to have connected with him. ETA: Evolution is not Devolution. "devolution", "de-evolution", or backward evolution is the notion that a species can change into a more "primitive" form. Evolution = progress, advancement. I'm not trying to argue, but you are putting a value judgement on evolution that I don't. . |
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Post by Q3 on Aug 22, 2011 22:23:02 GMT -5
I do not know Adam. I do not know Sauli. I just know that Adam looks happy. And as long as he is happy, something must be right in his world. I think Sauli must be part of that rightness. So I will not judge but I will say most likely Sauli is part of what is making Adam so happy. And that is a good thing.
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FanOfTheMan
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Post by FanOfTheMan on Aug 22, 2011 22:24:44 GMT -5
Why is it necessary to cut down others to support Sauli? I find the comment "fit in everywhere" very homophobic. Isn't that the attitude we are all fighting against? Isn't Adam working hard to educate the masses to embrace their individuality? I'm sorry if this is coming across as too strong. I am dealing with just this issue at work. I didn't expect the attitudes here. I didn't read "fit in" as homophobic at all. I have had boyfriends that I thought could fit in in a variety of situations, and some that could not. Some were lost if they accompanied me to the symphony, but did great at a football party with friends. Some fit in at the symphony, but didn't relate well with my professional colleagues. Then, there were a few that I could take to a family gathering, a museum, a staff function, sailing, or to a bridal shower, and they fit in. I never had to worry about them. As for evolving, aren't we all? Adam himself, in an interview, said that because his life was changing so much, his taste in a partner might also change. I know that my choice in relationships changed for the better and occasionally for the worse, depending on where I was at the time. (Can you say, "approaching 40 and not married, a little desperate, figuring I needed to 'settle' and not be so picky?" "Can you say disaster?") Ultimately, we all hated when family and friends started giving us advice about the suitability and desirability of our boyfriends or girlfriends. And they had at least met them! I'm going with my mother's perspective. She always said, "Whoever treats you well and makes you happy, I will like. If they don't I don't care how wealthy, good looking, charming, or successful they are. I won't like them." Yay, Mom! I didn't read "homophobic" in those comments at all. I agree with you cassie.And since Adam has apparently chosen this gorgeous man, Sauli, for his soulmate, then I am overjoyed for him-them. They found each other so magically. The stuff of fairy tales. The love and joy they share is so real I feel like I could reach right into this computer and touch the magic that is those two together. They are so glowing that my heart sings at the visuals. No putdown to the other guys in his past, but whew, this connection is sweet and hot and beautiful. Wonderfully so. The past is the past and this is the now. The beautiful now for Adam and Sauli. |
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Post by SusieFierce on Aug 22, 2011 22:25:16 GMT -5
I'm just going to comment on the general issue and why it rubs me the wrong way because it crops up from time to time. Also I'll preface that I'm certain adamme didn't mean anything by it and just wanted to express her appreciation for Sauli. Leaving aside Adam and who he is or has dated and what his preferences are, because that isn't the real issue, when I see a statement saying that manly is more preferable to flamboyant or effeminate, or that a boyfriend who "fit's in" more or doesn't have certain "mannerisms" is to be preferred, it comes across as homophobic to me. ETA: or what kittykay said To extrapolate to the real world. I am taking a traing class at work our instructor is from New York, very sweet and well groomed. He was gone today and the class asked HR for a new instructor because he was obviously gay because his nail beds were shined, not even polished. HR's response is he was from the city and we can't assume he is homosexual he could be metrosexual. I had to leave the room after expressing my disgust with the whole conversation. How is the "effeminate" male conversation any less offensive? Do people not like Adam as much when he shows his feminine side?  Ugh, kittykay!!! That is appalling. I'm so sorry you had to witness that and I am disgusted that "the class" made such a heinous request.  So glad you stood up to them. Bottom line, I think all of our perceptions of the people men/women/friends/past relationships of Adam's are ours alone. And often we relate them to our personal experience. Have you ever had an immediate conflict with a person and can't figure out what the hell you did and you think, "Holy crap! I wonder if I look like her ex-husband's new wife or something ...?" Some people are going to perceive Brad, Drake and Sauli a certain way just like we have all witnessed other people perceiving Adam in a "certain way." The only thing we can do is politely ask what it is that is triggering this reaction in people. I think oftentimes, people don't even realize they're doing it at first. This is how things have changed so significantly in just the past two years. The jokes, the stereotypes, etc. aren't tolerated in the same way. That doesn't mean people don't unconsciously still have those reactions, but they don't even realize they're doing it until they're "gently reminded" a few times. And it might have nothing to do with homophobia, just reaction to a perceived "type." There was a situation going on on Twitter earlier where a guy tweeted, "What do I want from you, Adam Lambert? I wish that you would stop smothering me with your gayness ..." (or something to that effect). Well a few of us laughed at that. @insomniac19 saw it and RTed, saying, "Well, he can certainly smother ME with his gayness ..." A few more of us RTed saying, "ME TOO!!!" I guess a couple of reactionary fans tweeted the guy and weren't kind (or he was over-reacting, I don't know, I didn't look). But he even said, "I don't mind the guy ..." but still he went so far as to tweet that and he was both teased and called out. I have a feeling he will think twice before making such a comment in the future. |
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Post by kittykay on Aug 22, 2011 22:34:21 GMT -5
To extrapolate to the real world. I am taking a traing class at work our instructor is from New York, very sweet and well groomed. He was gone today and the class asked HR for a new instructor because he was obviously gay because his nail beds were shined, not even polished. HR's response is he was from the city and we can't assume he is homosexual he could be metrosexual. I had to leave the room after expressing my disgust with the whole conversation. How is the "effeminate" male conversation any less offensive? Do people not like Adam as much when he shows his feminine side? Your story is rage-inducing. I wonder if your company has a non-discrimination policy, if so it might be worth privately pointing that out to the HR person, who should be the one to push back against these kind of complaints on the grounds that sexual orientation whether perceived or real has absolutely no bearing on someone's abilities. Then again I totally understanding choosing your battles depending on the context, and expressing your disgust and leaving the room was taking a public stand, good for you. Picking battles and job hunting, welcome to the world of the underemployeed. Two people joined with me after I asked why that changed his qualifications. The question was also asked if the Trainer had Aides because he took the day off for A Drs. appointment. I have evolved. These are things that would have gone unnoticed to me two years ago. I was just unaware. Sitting back quietly just allows the hate to continue. |
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Post by 4Ms on Aug 22, 2011 22:38:55 GMT -5
OK, to get serious now... :  Have you noticed how often in group pictures that lots of people have red-eye, but Adam seldom does? And Sauli is the same. They both have beautiful eyes... Yes, I have seen that over and over again. I was able to fix the red-eye in this photo, but double click it to see the original:  |
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Post by SusieFierce on Aug 22, 2011 22:52:10 GMT -5
Wow! It IS dusty at Burning Man. Great photo, 4Ms! I've never seen it. (But there are a LOT of photos Reihmer has been posting that I've never seen before. I feel like a brand-new stan!! lol!)
I've pointed out that Adam rarely has red eye many times. It's bizarre. Some people say, "He doesn't look at the lens directly." To which I say, "Yes, he does." Also there have been many times the pic was taken with an iPhone or phone camera and we all know those lenses are the size of a pencil eraser, so it's not like the other people in the photo are staring directly at it.
It's a bizarre thing.
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FanOfTheMan
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Post by FanOfTheMan on Aug 22, 2011 23:00:28 GMT -5
DEAD DYING DEAD  Just WOW. Really, this picture needs to be on every page (at least for today). Is that Adam's skull ring on Sauli's hand? I wanted to close out today with this beautiful magical picture. |
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readon
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Post by readon on Aug 22, 2011 23:10:47 GMT -5
Just WOW. Really, this picture needs to be on every page (at least for today). Is that Adam's skull ring on Sauli's hand? I wanted to close out today with this beautiful magical picture. Perfect!!! |
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