mika
Member
Posts: 542
Location:
|
Post by mika on Apr 25, 2012 16:47:40 GMT -5
I need to run some errands and take a breath but I don't want to hit and run. I'll be back this eve - not flouncing. No one needs to apologize at all. But what I said is from my heart - its hard when you think people see you as yourself and then hear things by same people that reduce you to something less. I have done this myself more than once to people who fall into an 'other' category. It's often necessary to make generalizations to have a useful discussion about society but stereotypes can be hurtful. I can't imagine we want to communicate to gay sons, bros, friends that they belong to a group that has largely been twisted into something small and mean by whatever. I apologize sincerely for sounding harsh when I know no one meant anything negative. And maybe I'm just wrong and/or biased. Thank you for letting me vent. My feelings about this community are warm, fuzzy - I just had a sharp react to a short thread. Truly regret bringing the vibe down. Please dont let my comment bring anyone down or create a chilling effect on discussion. peace:)
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Location:
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2012 16:47:57 GMT -5
I thought this subject would run out of steam this a.m. But I am genuinely shocked (and I shouldn't be - I'm an idiot to forget what world I'm living in) to find such a number of people making judgements about the gay community - certainly more diverse in its mainstream than the self loathing, jealous, petty stereotypes that are carelessly being bandied about. Based largely on comments at entertainment websites? Cause the similar non-gay specific ones have comments that are so enlightened? I need a bit of a break then maybe I can pontificate about women and the passive aggressive, back biting and apparently not too active re the war on their rights that's going on right now. And 51 percent of the population shld be in better position to effect change than 15 percent. Huh must be the self loathing or preference for 'alpha male' power structure, hmmm? (sorry but some of these posts broke my chill and well meaning only goes so far.) *applauds your post* Applause here as well, with a little addition... Adam is ( not a passive agressive, back biting woman, he's ) a gay man and belongs to those 15%, and that is an important part of him, liable to discussion as anything else. It was all over the news today, so....hence the debate and chill-breaking posts... ] What can get your mojo back? :D :D :D |
|
shev66
Member
Posts: 1,244
Location:
|
Post by shev66 on Apr 25, 2012 16:50:52 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by durberville on Apr 25, 2012 16:52:43 GMT -5
AOL SESSIONS GUYS!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
|
|
|
|
Post by melliemom on Apr 25, 2012 16:53:04 GMT -5
I thought this subject would run out of steam this a.m. But I am genuinely shocked (and I shouldn't be - I'm an idiot to forget what world I'm living in) to find such a number of people making judgements about the gay community - certainly more diverse in its mainstream than the self loathing, jealous, petty stereotypes that are carelessly being bandied about. Based largely on comments at entertainment websites? Cause the similar non-gay specific ones have comments that are so enlightened? I need a bit of a break then maybe I can pontificate about women and the passive aggressive, back biting and apparently not too active re the war on their rights that's going on right now. And 51 percent of the population shld be in better position to effect change than 15 percent. Huh must be the self loathing or preference for 'alpha male' power structure, hmmm? (sorry but some of these posts broke my chill and well meaning only goes so far.) If I upset you with my post Mika ,I just want you to know that I could substitute the word gay with the word women.I feel the same way about self hating women and women who don't protect their rights and the rights of other women,including their daughters,sisters and mothers. The jealously and lack of mentoring in some of the female community in many ways is beyond sad.So you are so right in saying that with the majority of the population on our side what's the problem. The problem is that many,especially those far right chicks are working against their own best interests.Many women don't stick up for other women ,they are Catty and jealous and often pit one against the other.The political scene right now for us is deplorable. We are headed back 100 years .. if it continues we may even lose our right to vote. So If I offended you I'm sorry,but I'm speaking about empowerment. Empowerment is easier to achieve with acceptance of who we are and group cohesiveness. I've done my share of group passive resistance for both women's rights and gay rights.They may not be totally similar causes,but struggling to gain rights in each group have quite a bit in common,whether it be 15% or 51%. Maybe if we join forces we can really make a change. IMHO the discussion today is very powerful and needed. We can make changes in society through openness and dialogue. Hugs to you Mika,we're all in this together. |
|
|
|
Post by wal on Apr 25, 2012 16:53:06 GMT -5
Shaun Amin @shaunamin (4 hours ago)
Stage Managing AOL "Sessions" today featuring Adam Lambert. #shouldbeinteresting
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Location:
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2012 16:53:40 GMT -5
I thought this subject would run out of steam this a.m. But I am genuinely shocked (and I shouldn't be - I'm an idiot to forget what world I'm living in) to find such a number of people making judgements about the gay community - certainly more diverse in its mainstream than the self loathing, jealous, petty stereotypes that are carelessly being bandied about. Based largely on comments at entertainment websites? Cause the similar non-gay specific ones have comments that are so enlightened? I need a bit of a break then maybe I can pontificate about women and the passive aggressive, back biting and apparently not too active re the war on their rights that's going on right now. And 51 percent of the population shld be in better position to effect change than 15 percent. Huh must be the self loathing or preference for 'alpha male' power structure, hmmm? (sorry but some of these posts broke my chill and well meaning only goes so far.) Whoa! Or Woah! I hadn't thought of it like that. I was just chuckling at a bunch of women of a certain age trying to figure out how gay men react to Adam and why. Yeah, like we have any insight into that. Sorry that the speculation upset you. But you are right. While trying to be accepting and open-minded about something we know little about, and trying to understand, we often bring our unconscious stereotypes and scripts along with us. Thanks for pointing that out. Mika, Cassie good points. I don't often post about things as you group say it for me. But today... I know nothing from a personal viewpoint about gay rights but comforting a friend who had her girlfriend beat on her and others laughing at her about it, or a couple who had to go to Canada to be married so they could raise their son in a committed relationship. The only thing I can do is support the causes, not be afraid to speak up about injustice when I can and try not to be a bitch about it while doing so. Looming over a poor girl and demanding to know what difference it made if my hairdresser was gay or not was not one of my finest moments. We as a group I think can make a difference in what is going on in our country at the moment. Just google Womens Rights and see what comes up. There is a civil rights lawsuit stemming from a Pennsylvania middle school’s ban of breast cancer awareness bracelets because it was about (scandal!!) boobs. It is imho time to fight for the 51%, as Mika put it, to be active in whatever way is possible for you both for women's rights and gay rights. Hey I'm from the generation when traveling for business I had to keep my briefcase with me in hotel dining rooms or bars or literally you ran the chance hotel security or the police would approach to see what kind of working woman you were. And on another note I am running through every piece of Adam music I have and find I have a question. Did Adam write Pop Goes The Camera and Kiss and Tell. Cause they sure have the same vibe, to me, as Trespassing. |
|
finkfan
Member
Posts: 134
Location:
|
Post by finkfan on Apr 25, 2012 16:54:51 GMT -5
AOL SESSIONS GUYS!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!   |
|
|
|
Post by noreaster on Apr 25, 2012 16:54:58 GMT -5
I need to run some errands and take a breath but I don't want to hit and run. I'll be back this eve - not flouncing. No one needs to apologize at all. But what I said is from my heart - its hard when you think people see you as yourself and then hear things by same people that reduce you to something less. I have done this myself more than once to people who fall into an 'other' category. It's often necessary to make generalizations to have a useful discussion about society but stereotypes can be hurtful. I can't imagine we want to communicate to gay sons, bros, friends that they belong to a group that has largely been twisted into something small and mean by whatever. I apologize sincerely for sounding harsh when I know no one meant anything negative. And maybe I'm just wrong and/or biased. Thank you for letting me vent. My feelings about this community are warm, fuzzy - I just had a sharp react to a short thread. Truly regret bringing the vibe down. Please dont let my comment bring anyone down or create a chilling effect on discussion. peace:) Hey, teachable moment here! You have a valid point. When people who want to be supportive are messing that up, no matter how well intentioned, then we need to be told.  to you, and I'm sorry that we biffed up. I think sometimes we (well, I, for certain) tend to let my Mama Bear protectiveness of Adam get in the way of thinking things through as much as I should. |
|
|
|
Post by adamme on Apr 25, 2012 16:55:28 GMT -5
www.x17online.com/celebrities/adam_lambert/adam_lambert_instinct_magazine_cover_gay_male_pop_star_042412.php?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitterADAM LAMBERT SAYS IT'S DIFFICULT TO BE A GAY MALE POP STAR Adam Lambert covers the new issue of Instinct Magazine, and he makes some interesting points about his career and how he's perceived by the gay male audience. “As a community, we’re a little bit resistant to a gay male pop star ourselves,” Lambert says. “It’s very easy for people to look at my origin, which is American Idol, and automatically assume that I’m a commercial sellout or a puppet or a flash in the pan. I don’t think I’m any of those things. There’s something weird there. We’re very eager to celebrate a strong female. But to celebrate a fellow gay man — it gets catty sometimes.” Interesting! more I copied and emailed Adam statement above to my gay friend (male) and he said it's very sad but it's also very true. However, he said mostly the resistance to Adam or male gay popstar is coming from the gay men. He doesn't think that the community does really have problem with the female gay popstar. He also said it's mostly caused by jealousy, because Adam is so succesful and can be himself in public eyes. Because of this competition and jealousy among gay men, my friend and his partner decided to stay out of gay clubs or their community. I talked about how the community or gay men very supportive of Gaga, and he agrees with me and he also mentioned the support given to Madonna. So he confirmed what Adam said, that gay men don't have problem with female popstar, because no competition there. He said basically most of them don't like to see another gay man is more successfull than themself... |
|
