Holst
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Post by Holst on Jan 11, 2013 19:09:15 GMT -5
[/IMG] [/quote] I ignored it because I don't know what it is. Looks like Adam with some people photoshopped into the picture. Is it from Glee? |
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Post by geezlouise on Jan 11, 2013 19:09:17 GMT -5
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Post by fallenangel on Jan 11, 2013 19:09:18 GMT -5
I actually disagree with you. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away. Their power doesn't come from a reaction it comes from being able to humilliate someone knowing they can't do anything about it. Yes. Bullies control those they target by using disempowerment and by stimulating artificially high levels of fear, shame, embarrassment and guilt. This is true of all abusers whether they are school bullies, sexual harassers, violent partners committing domestic violence, or pedophiles. It is also standard psychopathic behaviour to reflect every attempt at accountability back onto the accuser and to plausibly portray their victim as the guilty party.www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/myths.htmA very important issue has been trivialized in this discussion. I agree with those who have said it was entirely the wrong forum and wrong approach. Exactly! That is why a lot of the victims hide it and take so long to seek help. The bully makes them feel powerless. |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2013 19:09:23 GMT -5
Adam Lambert @adamlambertAnd NO. I'm not taking sides in any of the current celeb beefs. This is a general conversation. More about society as a whole. he is SO right on the money! All these national awareness campaigns about anti-bullying and yet society HUNGERS for every detail about a celebrities life. Tabloids, like TMZ, Perez, Star, Us Weekly, etc. tell half truths or outright lies to sell out celebrities and make a buck. Every online article about a celebrity is overrun with hostile and ugly comments, both towards the subject of the article and to the other people commenting on the article. As a society we've become so used to being able to say whatever we want from the comfort of our living room without consequence that it's spilling over into real life where kids aren't being taught that 1) words matter and 2) sometimes people are just assholes and that's life. |
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murly
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Post by murly on Jan 11, 2013 19:11:50 GMT -5
It seems to me what Adam is saying is: - There is a lot of crap that teenagers face, that we all go through, and labeling all of it "bullying" desensitizes us to the real bullying that goes on. - Making bullies take responsibility for their actions is important, but it is also important to give victims tools of self-powerment so that even the milder forms of bullying don't lead to despair. Learning how to cope with bullying could save kids' lives. - Bullying doesn't just happen to teens -- even Adam has to deal Sigh. IA, isn't this essentially what the Trevor Project attempts to do? Give bullied kids encouragement and a sense of worth and hopefulness so they can cope woth the bullies by knowing they can rise above it. Bullies should absolutely be a taken to task but working with the victims to be more empowered and shake off the mentality is much more of an immediate help, IMO. I remember having this conversation when Adam's "It Gets Better" vid came because this was essentially his point back then too.
Good point!
People are saying Adam shouldn't have launched this discussion on Twitter, but why not? He's not singlehandedly trying to solve the problem in one afternoon. He's not claiming that his tweets should be legal doctrine. He's just discussing a subject to which he had been giving some thought, for whatever reason. I see politics and other deep subjects tweeted about all the time. I've never seen anyone tell Rachel Maddow that she shouldn't be discussing drone attacks on Twitter. |
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FanOfTheMan
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Post by FanOfTheMan on Jan 11, 2013 19:11:56 GMT -5
It seems to me what Adam is saying is: - There is a lot of crap that teenagers face, that we all go through, and labeling all of it "bullying" desensitizes us to the real bullying that goes on. - Making bullies take responsibility for their actions is important, but it is also important to give victims tools of self-powerment so that even the milder forms of bullying don't lead to despair. Learning how to cope with bullying could save kids' lives. - Bullying doesn't just happen to teens -- even Adam has to deal Sigh. IA, isn't this essentially what the Trevor Project attempts to do? Give bullied kids encouragement and a sense of worth and hopefulness so they can cope woth the bullies by knowing they can rise above it. Bullies should absolutely be a taken to task but working with the victims to be more empowered and shake off the mentality is much more of an immediate help, IMO. I remember having this conversation when Adam's "It Gets Better" vid came because this was essentially his point back then too.   ETA-This is a current and relevant subject for any means of communication - I'm glad he's talking about it on Twitter. |
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Albiku
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Post by Albiku on Jan 11, 2013 19:12:48 GMT -5
Sorry but I completely disagree. Adam is talking about kids who are alone and therefore easy prey for bullies and he has EVERY RIGHT to say what he's saying and he's 100% right. Kids need to find support systems that help them during what is for EVERY KID a difficult transition from childhood to adulthood. Even bullies are bullied by someone at some point. That's not bullying. What every kid goes through while they're growing up is not bullying. His point is that bullying comes from a PETTY place. Obviously if someone is physically harming you you can't ignore that but if someone calls you names or generally tries to make you feel like an outcast, ignore them. Giving them a reaction is exactly what they want. It's where their power comes from. Name-calling is not bullying either. The word bullying, as he said a few tweets ago, should be reserved for other type of behaviour. as an aside I'm honestly SO tired of fans telling Adam to shut up. I never told him to shut up, nor did I imply that he wasn't entitled to his own opinion. And I said that in my first post about the matter. When I said "stop" I was begging him, not telling him. The intent is different. I was in a bad place. I apologize if it came out wrong. |
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Albiku
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Post by Albiku on Jan 11, 2013 19:15:35 GMT -5
Adam Lambert @adamlambertim not saying there shouldn't be consequences for bullies. I'm saying that HELPING folks cope and ignore is ALSO important & more proactive Exactly. Also. That's what was missing from his first tweets. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2013 19:16:50 GMT -5
I actually disagree with you. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away. Their power doesn't come from a reaction it comes from being able to humilliate someone knowing they can't do anything about it. Yes. Bullies control those they target by using disempowerment and by stimulating artificially high levels of fear, shame, embarrassment and guilt. This is true of all abusers whether they are school bullies, sexual harassers, violent partners committing domestic violence, or pedophiles. It is also standard psychopathic behaviour to reflect every attempt at accountability back onto the accuser and to plausibly portray their victim as the guilty party.www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/myths.htmA very important issue has been trivialized in this discussion. I agree with those who have said it was entirely the wrong forum and wrong approach. People can only have the power over you that you LET THEM have over you! If you don't give them the power to control you they can't and they will eventually move on to someone who gives them what they seek. I come from a very abusive home situation, mental abuse that lasted into my early 20s. Name calling, put downs, snide comments, ridicule over the slightest things.....I let the people who were abusing me control me by being afraid to stand up for myself and by believing what they said about me. I took back my life when I stopped letting them have that power over me and stopped letting their words get into my head because I learned that their words came from their OWN sense of worthlessness and that they wanted me to feel how they felt. They wanted me to be miserable because they were miserable. I cut them out of my life and told them they weren't welcome anymore until they could treat me with respect. It changed my whole life. It got better because I made it better. THAT IS WHAT ADAM IS SAYING. |
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Post by wal on Jan 11, 2013 19:22:57 GMT -5
Adam Lambert @adamlambert
Ok I've ranted enough on this soapbox that is twitter. I love a good discussion. Grateful for everyone's insight- been enlightening. #exhale
Adam Lambert @adamlambert
And FYI- ANYONE is welcome in this Glamily. ANYONE. Please be welcoming and kind. Quit cyber fighting.
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