QueeenAl
Member
Fell so hard for this man, will never get up.
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Post by QueeenAl on Jan 12, 2013 0:20:03 GMT -5
Personal message: I miss the times when reihmer used to post a lot ... my early days here on Atop ... great pics welcomed me everyday, letting me know what was going on in that quirky mind Yes, I know you have your reasons, but sometimes cakes don't cover it all ...  |
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Post by lulu1265 on Jan 12, 2013 2:46:19 GMT -5
I'm not really sure if I can add anything to the discussion about bullying, but here is my personal experience. At the beginning of 7th grade my family moved to a nearby town, very close to the one I grew up in. I was the new girl in school and although not a raving beauty, not a dog either. Hence, I got a lot of attention from the guys in school. Then I started getting anonymous letters in the mail from some of the girls at school, supposedly my new friends. I was told I was nothing but a whore and a bitch, no one really liked me and I should give up my boyfriend and let someone others have a chance with him.
When I look back on this now, I think how stupid I was to believe what they said, but at that age you want to fit in so bad and it was an unbelievably painful time and experience for me. It eventually stopped when whoever the letter writer was, her mother found a letter, called my mother and put a stop to it. However, the damage had already been done. That has been nearly 40 years ago and I still have the letters!
It has made my trust in others, especially women, very difficult to come by. I have been through therapy, but the scars never really go away. I went back to college when I was 40 to earn an undergraduate degree in Psychology. During my last semester in school I had to take Experimental Psychology. Each student had to come up with a psychological experiment, make a PowerPoint presentation on it and then the professor would choose a few of the best to actually be carried out at our university.
My topic was how girls use social aggression as a means of bullying. Social aggression is defined as using shunning, name-calling, gossip, rumor-starting and such against another person. The professor ended up choosing my experiment and I had to head the group to run the experiment. There was another student in my group (another older student not in her 20s, but not as old as me). Anyway, long story short, she caused so much trouble within the group that our professor ended the experiment before we had even collected all the data we would need to conclude the experiment.
To say the lest, I was extremely upset about this. I went to speak with my professor and she laughed! She said don't you see the very thing your experiment was about is what was happening within the group!! So this type of bullying goes on through all aspects of life.
I'm not sure what the solution is. I do think we could make those bullied feel more empowered and that would help, but at the same time the bullies should suffer consequences for their actions. What most people don't realize is how far-reaching the effects of bullying really are. I still know just how I felt almost 40 years ago when all this happened and even though I think how stupid I was to buy into the things that were said about me, it was very psychologically damaging to me and that has lasted for all these years. Sure I got over it, but the scars are still there. I'm glad that Adam opens up these kinds of discussion. The only way things will change is when we stop ignoring it and just saying oh well that's how kids are.
If there is ever to be any true change we have to start the dialogue somewhere. I have read a lot of books and interesting articles, but mostly they concern how girls use a different type of aggression than boys. However, I have seen a change in that in recent years, with girls being more physically aggressive. Anyway, I'm not offering solutions, just saying it can't all be bad if it makes people stop, think and maybe even take action.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 12, 2013 14:42:24 GMT -5
Ok, joining the conversation after the fact. Skimming through the thread, but one of the impressions I am left with, which is similar to conclusions I draw from my work with all types of students, is that the word bullying is stretched to cover too many meanings. Under this same word we sometimes lump assault, battery, abuse, social isolation, cyber-stalking, libel, physical restraint, illegal detention, gang intimidation, and many others. By not giving enough respect to the after-effects of the kinds of violence (social and physical) that can be perpetuated against young people we diminish the importance of these offenses. By lumping them all under the the word "bullying" we confuse the various levels of severity. In the work place if someone repeatedly calls someone else a name it is a different crime than if he/she had engaged in physical violence. With young people we often call both of these offenses bullying. That does not reflect the different experiences of those receiving these behaviors, or the different ways one would handle the perpetrators of these differing offenses. By over-using a single word to describe these offenses we hurt the victims and fail to consistently rehabilitate/re-educate the offenders in an adequate way. Apologies about my rant, rant, rant, but if we call assault, assault and bullying, bullying we might come up with more effective ways to approach the painful after-effects. Words do matter in many ways. peace&love thank you. |
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Post by got2btrue2u on Nov 6, 2013 13:18:34 GMT -5
New old pic of the Zodiac Show . I think Adam is at the bottom .  Such a cool picture. Where did you find it from? I wounder if there's a video of that performance? I found on Facebook , on an Adam Fan page  . Cool , huh ? I'd love to see the performance |
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Post by got2btrue2u on Nov 6, 2013 13:37:48 GMT -5
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Post by geezlouise on Nov 6, 2013 13:50:54 GMT -5
These posts are from last January….. the mystery was solved shortly after. |
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. Cool , huh ? I'd love to see the performance 