1.11.13 Adam LiteNews and Info

Try reading juniemoon and fallenangel's responses to the last time you said that.

And do you really think kids can just go "nope" and put themselves out of a bad situation? I mean it's great that you managed it but kids are constantly stuck in the same place with the same people.

I guess we're all thinking the same way but wording it differently. As I said before victims often hide what's hapening out of shame and because the bully makes them FEEL powerless. No one wants to become a victim, yet it happens. They get in your head and strip you of your power. What I was trying to get at before is that ignoring doesn't make things go away. And once you're in those types of situations you often feel like there's no way out. Until you can find some kind of support system that helps you get out and rise above it, things aren't going to change. BUT, the way Adam was wording it made it seem as though all change needed was on the victim's part. That was what I didn't agree with. The aggressors need to be held responsible for their actions and get help too (though of a completely different kind). He's worded it better in the more recents tweets so all is good.

Boy - I wish I could be part of Adam's Twitter Forum; but I'm just not that savvy.
I'm feeling ready to come back and post now and then; but this is a strange way to rejoin the discussions. I'm still so raw. My mother died and my voice has flown elsewhere for awhile.

This return is into a place and experience I'm very familiar with.
I can't make complete sense of Adam's comments, yet. But I know they are coming from his truth.

When I was eleven, the girls at school decided to hate me. Actually, one girl told the others this is what they should do. No fists; no blows. Just ostracization. As an outcast I just lasted through each day. I made it because I had love at home. I would walk home, after someone ripped my homework or emptied the jar of jumping beans I'd brought for 'show and tell', and I'd be comforted under my mother's chin. Adam had love at home, too. Later, I became a 'music nerd' and found myself in the choir room, with a circle of like-minded friends. Here, I found my core and my companionship.

We fast forward . . . I've had all these kids. All are doing great, I'm happy to say.
My youngest has a mild form of Asperger's.
We didn't know. There was no diagnosis, remedy, or way of coping back then.
He just didn't fit. Oh, he was the target for every cruel twist of the knife at school.
I pleaded with his teachers and the administrators. Guess what? They didn't like him, either.
When he finally had enough, and ran away during recess, I found him walking home. All I told him was 'I love you'. Those true words - from me, from his father and his brothers - helped him weather the storm of those hateful years. He was tortured. Day after day I would watch him leave the car and walk to the corridor for class. I knew I was seeing the bravest person I will ever know. We had to threaten the parents of one of his tormentors with a lawsuit. Once, after school, he climbed into the car, and I took a 'post-it' note off the back of his jacket. It said 'kick me!'. 'Help' didn't take him through; love and support at home did. A belief in himself did.

I think Adam's experience was known, understood, sympathized, and worked through within the shelter of his family. That doesn't take away the hurt and the horror. It does, though, give one a place to hide. And learn. And gain strength. And be loved.

I know many children don't have this place; this hearth of warmth and love, when the rest of the world is dark and cruel.
How do we reach out? How do we help?

Yes. Stop the bullying. And yes - find the vehicle for strengthening the bullied; the unloved; the children who don't fit in. It should begin at home. Sadly, doesn't always happen. I feel blessed. Nothing is lost on Adam. I think he feels blessed, as well.

I need to think of ways to help that reach to those who try to grow within a void of love. Maybe, then, I'll make a difference.

Frecklesexual, I'm deeply sorry you went through such a horrid situation. I'm very glad you overcame it and took your power back. No one should go through what you did. Thank you for telling us.

However, I still think that sometimes bullies steal the power from you. Sometimes you don't give them the power. In my case, I never let their words get to me. I never let them drive me away from school, no matter how scared I really was inside thinking that they had made death threats against me. Honestly, I couldn't care less what they thought about me. But still, they didn't stop. Not only that, but I was completely helpless, because the adults in the school (the teachers) and the adults in the bullies' lives (their parents) never lifted a finger to help. The only adults who tried to help were my parents, but what could they do apart from taking me out of school (which they did, as soon as they could)? What could they do when no one with responsibility towards the bullies did anything? And what could I do, apart from defend myself as well as I could?

No, I never let them get to me. That's what pissed them off the most, actually. I was powerless, but it wasn't because I let them take that power.