4.7.13 Funny glasses & cool shades

[sighs; throws off mod hat; speaks solely as self]

Adam's not much younger than my siblings, so when he does certain things a strange "big sister" exasperation comes out.

Despite the fact that he is, in fact, a stranger living a real life I truly know nothing about, I still feel like yelling at him like my little brother saying "Dammit, you could have made that work, but you were so busy that you didn't try hard enough". Complete projection. I know. I know. But hearing people say "Oh 31 is too young to settle down" bothers me. Because even if kids aren't in the equation, life at 31 is crazy enough for anyone to crave a partner to help equilabrate the jagged edges of life. Its the time where you often realize that where you thought you were going may be different where you are now and a rock helps stabilize you.

If Sauli had been a bad person, I'd of course feel totally different. But there's such a proverbial "The One Who Got Away" feeling with him. [snorts wryly] The kind of feeling that musicians frequently write miserable songs about 5 years down the road when the person they broke up with finds happiness with someone else while they slap themselves on the head going "what the hell was I thinking at the time??"

While I would love some great music from Adam, I guess in my "big sister" fannish way, I don't want it if its generated out of his unhappiness. Now, based on the latest photographs, both Adam and Sauli are out and about, smiling at least for the cameras. I may be the only one mooning over their ended relationship.

However, still feel like slapping him upside the head this morning.

You seem to be making a lot of assumptions there, including that Adam made the final decision.  As you say, none of us know anything about it but there are many (including me) who would say there are two sides to every story and it seems somewhat presumptuous to (mentally) chastise only Adam. None of us were inside that relationship and we see only the public images which are open to interpretation.  Adam has given a public statement, kindly phrased, and I'm sure that the two will retain a civilised relationship because that's what Adam does and who he is.




Delurking to say ITA, chameleon. I've been reading for the last few days and I have to say that some of the assumptions being made are seriously WTF, IMO. How can anyone in this fandom possibly know what transpired to ultimately cause this breakup. I've had close friends divorce after many years and no one, not even family members, had any idea they were having serious problems in the relationship. Both guys seem like terrific human beings but sometimes even that's not enough to sustain a relationship. I'm sure they are both hurting even if they reached the decision amicably. It's never easy and they could use support not blame. I seriously doubt anyone needs to slapped upside the head. 

[sighs; throws off mod hat; speaks solely as self]

Adam's not much younger than my siblings, so when he does certain things a strange "big sister" exasperation comes out.

Despite the fact that he is, in fact, a stranger living a real life I truly know nothing about, I still feel like yelling at him like my little brother saying "Dammit, you could have made that work, but you were so busy that you didn't try hard enough". Complete projection. I know. I know. But hearing people say "Oh 31 is too young to settle down" bothers me. Because even if kids aren't in the equation, life at 31 is crazy enough for anyone to crave a partner to help equilabrate the jagged edges of life. Its the time where you often realize that where you thought you were going may be different where you are now and a rock helps stabilize you.

If Sauli had been a bad person, I'd of course feel totally different. But there's such a proverbial "The One Who Got Away" feeling with him. [snorts wryly] The kind of feeling that musicians frequently write miserable songs about 5 years down the road when the person they broke up with finds happiness with someone else while they slap themselves on the head going "what the hell was I thinking at the time??"

While I would love some great music from Adam, I guess in my "big sister" fannish way, I don't want it if its generated out of his unhappiness. Now, based on the latest photographs, both Adam and Sauli are out and about, smiling at least for the cameras. I may be the only one mooning over their ended relationship.

However, still feel like slapping him upside the head this morning.