9.3.11 Adam News and Info

See that's what's so interesting about frame of reference. Most people see living for today as a positive thing and most of the time I do too, but in the context of seeing the rest of the song talking about no passion, no belief, etc. I see living for today as more of a mindless going through the motions type thing. Of course that was what my life felt like then because, to borrow from Bono again, I was "Stuck in a Moment". I couldn't see a future that wasn't just more of the same that was beating me into the ground in the first place. I couldn't drum up any feeling or passion or hope. I was so disconnected emotionally from the world that nothing was getting through and to me the lyrics of 'Imagine' were painting a picture of that nothingness. I made the decision that I would watch the Live Aid broadcast and if I could watch the whole thing without feeling SOMETHING then what use was there to hang around. I was convinced that I was of no use to anyone much less my toddler who I thought would be better off with my mother-in-law raising her than with me. Thank God for Bono because when he jumped off that stage to drag that girl out of the crowd and put his arms around her to just sway to the music I FELT it. In that moment I felt arms around me and a profound sense of LOVE. And that is why I'm still around. My life didn't change overnight and in truth I totally blanked that whole experience out of my memory for years but that was the turning point for me. What's even stranger is that although I remained aware of U2 in a vague way I didn't become a "fan" until 2005 and my exploration of their history gradually dug up a lot of memories that I had blocked out. When the Live Aid DVD came out and I was watching it I started remembering more and more about the day I actually watched it and before I got to the U2 part I had to stop the DVD and let the memories wash over me. It was a very strange experience to say the least.